Farewell, 2013.

Dear Future Self,

Hi. *waves* If you're missing the baby and toddler days, just remember this one thing: bath poop. See? You don't miss those days anymore, do you?! You're welcome.

Love,

90210 of the Past

I've come to know that there are some things that no one prepares you for when it comes to entering parenthood, and one of those things is how absolutely horrifying bath poop is. I believe I may have blogged about this when she was a baby, because I vividly remember picking her up from her baby bathtub and discovering some green formula poo after a bath one night and the complete freakout that ensued. I can't remember exactly when that was, but I know it happened in the old house, so it was prior to March 2013. And then there was a lengthy period of time sans bath poop, but nothing good lasts that long, right? Right.

It all started with bath toots, which made the Monster laugh. So she'd keep trying to toot, and sometimes would push so hard the toot would be accompanied by something even more foul. There's no amount of preparation that makes you ready to deal with bath poop. 

The most memorable incident happened when she, of course, tried too hard to toot and... you know the rest. I at least had the sense to grab her out of the tub, because she tends to tap dance when there's a poop floating in the tub. So while I wrestled the poo out of the water, the Monster pooed (just a little) on the floor. When that was cleaned up, I put her back into the bathtub while it filled with water, turned my back to get the soap, and turned back around to find my adorable, sweet little toddler holding the shower head with both hands and spraying water directly into the center of the bathtub.

So, Future Self... just remember THAT. And be grateful if you're reading this when the bath poop stage is far passed.

Notice I didn't warn you about the poop talk? I feel like we're on that level now, where we can talk about these things without feeling embarrassed. 

As is typical, I read over my last entry and realized that I really need to dedicate more time to this blog because things continue to change so rapidly. She was at about 12 spoken words at my last blog post. Now I don't even know how many words she can say, but I'm guessing it's far over 30. Here are the ones I can remember, and they are all words that she uses correctly, not just repeats (not in order, I'm trying to group them to remember them easier):

Mommy

Daddy

Pop Pop

Aimee (her cousin)

Baby

Puppy

Bird

Fish

Elmo

Emma

Toast

Cheese

Apple

Yogurt

Cookie

Pear

Banana (she says "baa" for banana)

Peas

Shoes

Socks

Hat

More

Please

Hi

Bye-Bye

Yes

No

Happy

Up

Down

Cold (she says "brrr brrr" when something's cold, I guess that counts)

Hush

Nice 

Bubble (on my last post, I wasn't sure if "bubble" was a word or a coincidence, but it's definitely a word and she uses it accurately now)

Ball

Book

Read

Outside

Balloon

Spoon

ABC's

Moon

Boom

Rainbow ("bow")

Beads (she LOVES playing with Mardi Gras beads)

Eyes

Nose

Elbow

Poopy

Pee-Pee (guess we're almost ready for potty training!)

Body parts she can point to:

Head

Eyes (she can say the word too)

Nose (can say the word)

Ears

Elbow (can say the word too)

Mouth

Fingers

Toes

Hands

Feet

Belly

Bellybutton

Hair

Knees

Animal Noises:

Cow (we call her the Angry Cow because she moos angrily these days)

Lamb

Lion

Kitty

Tiger

So, yea. She's quite the chatter box these days and is picking up about 1-2 new words every day. Yesterday she (finally) learned "book" and "read" and today she learned "socks." I figured she'd learn "book" and "read" a lot sooner than she did considering they're easy words to say and she LOVES books and reading. I guess it wasn't a necessity because she could always get us to read her a book without even saying anything.

An interesting turn of events happened tonight. She's been extra finicky about food lately, so I was feeding her a late snack after we got home tonight. As she finished up her pasta, I walked into the kitchen to get a wet paper towel to clean her up and she looked at me and said "toast!" I said "do you want some toast?" And she said, I kid you not, "yes!" Clearly a fluke. So she said "toast" again and I asked the same question, and got the same reply of "yes!" So I made her some toast, and she gobbled it down. I believe that counts as her first real request for something and her level of communication just took a significant leap. She's been able to say "more" for a while, but for her to desire toast and ask for it out of the blue... well, it certainly floored me.

She won't stop growing up. And it's making me sad. At some point this week, she will have her last bottle ever because I've decided to drop her nighttime bottle. I need it more than she does... no, really. I do. I've only been continuing it because I cherish that time that we spend together, but she doesn't rely on it to go to sleep and the longer we continue this, the more difficult it'll be to break the habit. If she were truly comforted by it, then I'd hesitate to drop it. But I think she really doesn't need it at all, and it has been me that's clinging to the last little piece of her babyhood. *sigh*

Otherwise, she still hasn't gained but maybe .5 pounds since she was 9 months old. She's still a picky eater but is slowly accepting new foods. She walks very well and can now walk backwards. My little Monster loves to climb and go up and down steps. And she's becoming more interested in TV, but only watches for  a few minutes at a time. Still loves books, and now really loves shoes. OMG shoes. She'll zero-in on a pair of my shoes from across the room and isn't satisfied until they're both on her feet and she's perilously walking around the house. She's still not snuggly, and is sleeping like a champ at night and during the day, for the most part. She had what I believe to be a case of Roseola (Sixth Disease)- three days of fever, and about four days of a rash. And she was such a horrible grump when she had her rash, I was certain we'd all perish.

Thanksgiving was great, but she refused to even try the turkey, or anything else for that matter. Same thing for Christmas dinner, although she did enjoy Grandma's rolls. She had so much fun on Christmas, although she got a little overwhelmed by all of the noise, gifts, and excitement. She was so gentle with the Christmas tree, and would pet it and say "nice."

I'm doing my New Year's post early because I can't promise that I'll blog again soon enough for it to be a true New Year's post:

1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?
- got a promotion!

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
- once again, I don't do New Year's resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
- YES! One of my best friends had her baby boy in February :)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
- No. And I'm so completely grateful for another year without a significant loss.

5. What countries did you visit?
- None, again. I'm doubting I'll go out of the country again until the super family cruise in about two years (CANNOT WAIT!)

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
- Free time. My job has consumed my life, and I'm regretting the lack of "me time"

7. What date from 2013 will remain etched in your memory, and why?
-7/9/13, the Monster's first birthday! 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- I got a promotion at work. Someone in upper-upper-management compared my experience to being thrown into a flaming pool and being told to swim to the side without a life preserver. Pretty much sums it up. And I'm still alive! And still employed! 

9. What was your biggest failure?
- Finishing craft projects. I REALLY need to finish them at some point.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
- It was a surprisingly healthy year. My endometriosis is back with a vengeance, though, and that always sucks. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?
- My new house. OMG. It's my "realistic dream home" AKA everything I could ask for within budget.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
- My husband, without a doubt. This year was very trying for me- my job is indescribably stressful. Add to that being a mommy of a toddler, and I had some moments of being a complete and total bear. And no matter how many nights I had to work instead of spending time with him, or was far too exhausted to do much of anything, or needed to sob in his arms, or vent about how things just weren't fair, he was always there for me. He's my biggest supporter, and is so forgiving. He loves the baby more than anything, and is such a great example to her of a kind, loving, gentle, and trustworthy man. I can only hope Emma marries a man just like him :)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
- Let's not go there.

14. Where did most of your money go?
- A down payment for the new house. Furniture for the new house. Stuff for the new house. And the baby- LOTS of stuff for the baby. And the PS4, XBOX One, and Wii U... because my husband is spoiled.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- Emma's first birthday! And Christmas. 

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
- Probably "Old McDonald" or the ABC Song

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder: Happier still. Didn't think it was possible, but we have so much to be thankful for!
Thinner or fatter? Thinner. STILL. I haven't been this small since high school, and apparently it's not a medical issue that we know of. However, it's difficult to find work clothes in my size  and I've spent a lot of money at the tailor so far :(
Richer or poorer? Poorer. The down payment for the house wiped out a chunk of our savings account. And toddlers are expensive! 

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
- Blogging. Crafting. 

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
- Working.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
- Christmas Eve at my parents' house. Then gifts at home on Christmas morning. Then Christmas afternoon/evening at the in-laws' house. 

21. Did you fall in love in 2013?
- Cheesy as it may sound, I've fallen more in love with my child and my husband and that's the darned truth.

22. How many one-night stands?
- Zero. Point. Zero.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
- Mad Men again, but I was also really digging Downton Abbey

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
- I'll agree with what I said last year. Hate is a strong word, but I have a more negative view of a handful of people and choose to keep my distance from them now.

25. What was the best book you read?
- Hmmmm... well I haven't finished "The Cider House Rules" yet but that tops the list. I also liked Harry Potter and The Bloodletter's Daughter was pretty good as well.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
- Lorde

27. What did you want and get?
- This new house!

28. What did you want and not get?
- A winning lotto ticket.

29. What was your favorite film?
- I'm not sure what movies I watched this year! Bah! 

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
- I turned 27, and I spent it trying to avoid a nervous breakdown because of the pressure at work. Hubby scheduled me a hair appointment, because I hadn't had my hair done in over a year, but that was about it for the birthday festivities.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?

- It was already immeasurably satisfying. I had my husband and my child in my life every day, and we were all healthy and happy.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
- Droopy in the beginning, because none of my clothes fit. But it has improved recently, because I've been an avid Ann Taylor Loft shopper and they actually have clothes small enough for me.

33. What kept you sane?
- My husband. And my Kindle.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
- No one, really. Although Justin Timberlake will always have a special place in my heart.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
- Same as last year: marriage equality.

36. Who did you miss?
- My best friend, and my family in North Carolina.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
- I became closer to some awesome people at work.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013:
- Don't ever expect that someone recognizes your need for help. And you can't hold it against someone for not helping you if you didn't ask.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
- I'm deferring this one. I can't think of anything right now :(

Toddlers are Rude Little People

Wait... it's November already? Nooooo...
I've had intentions of updating my blog for the last month but lots of things happened all at the same time and, you know, I value my job and my two hours of relaxation time I get every night after crazy baby goes to bed.
Erm, crazy toddler.
I re-read my last post to see what my life was like when I left off on this blog-thing and my, my, how things have changed.
Oh, and remember how awesome I am at jinxing myself? Like, doing a hospital happy-dance when I made it to 32 weeks and pretty much publicly declared that I would make it to 34 weeks? And then my water broke that night. You'd think I would have learned the power that this blog holds, because I wrote that epic "I'm a mommy hear me roar" kind of post about how I was enjoying rocking my child to sleep with a bottle at night and I didn't care what anyone else said. So, clearly you know what happened next. Crazy toddler refused to let me rock her to sleep at night ever again. As in, the very next night she protested falling asleep in my arms. And eventually stopped letting me rock her to sleep for her naps. *sigh* So now we've stopped the morning nap bottle and I plop her into her crib and hand her Chubby Bunny. She actually does great with putting herself to sleep- I hand her the bunny and she flips over onto her tummy and wiggles her butt (we call it twerking herself to sleep) and if she's not fully ready to go to bed, she moves around and plays until she's ready for night-night. I was about to drop the afternoon nap bottle but realized the time change was upon us and changing her schedule and dropping another bottle may have resulted in full-on toddler warfare. And she just got a round of shots yesterday, so I'm just going to let it ride for a bit longer before I drop the afternoon bottle. The nighttime bottle will be most difficult, but I'm in no hurry and she certainly isn't either. She still gets a morning bottle after breakfast because she needs to get her dose of Miralax (yep, still has a broken pooper) and she won't drink enough liquid at one time from her straw cup to get her full dose that way. So I'm open to suggestions on that.
I was so fearful of the time change and did my best to adjust her schedule slowly leading up to it. Luckily, she also started adjusting her own schedule the week before and ended up settling into the time change flawlessly. Whew.
Before I get to the updates, I need to step up on my soap box because I've discovered that one thing irks me more than most things do. And also, I'm short, so stepping up on any type of platform is usually a good thing for me to do. Anyways. Ahem. Please, for the love of God and all things that are holy, do NOT call me ridiculous or give me the aww-bless-your-heart look for being a safety-oriented mom. Fair warning- the next person who does that will be subject to a verbal beat-down.
I like to play devil's advocate with myself but I just can't seem to wrap my head around this one. How on earth could someone think it's silly for me to be safe when it comes to my child? Or tell me I'm going overboard? Or say I'm being ridiculous? Is it because you turned your child forward-facing in the car seat exactly on his/her first birthday and ended up not getting into a front-end collision that could have killed your front-facing child? How about we talk to the thousands of mourning parents who will always remember that if they had just followed the safety recommendations, their child would be alive. Go on youtube, you'll find some videos that will make you cry and want to hug your child. And it's not a huge group of dumb-asses who just had no clue that you shouldn't let your young toddler play with an electrical socket. It's parents who thought they were being safe enough and the odds were not in their favor. Sure, there are plenty of parents who did follow the safety recommendations and still suffered a loss but, dammit, if something were to happen to my sweet little angel, I wouldn't want to live knowing that I didn't do everything I could have done to protect her. Even if I had a second child, I'd still do everything the same way.
I'll never forget seeing a facebook post from a parent who held her little 8- or 9-month-old child as he died in her arms from a brain injury that happened in the bathtub. A $10 faucet cover could have saved his life. And his parents were not neglectful in any way, but I have to think that they will always feel like they could have saved him. That thought would be unbearable to me.
Or the youtube video that told the story of a little boy who didn't live to see his first birthday because he was improperly strapped into a car seat. The video is complete with photos of this poor baby in the hospital, swollen, with tubes and wires all over him. And a photo of the mother holding her baby son as he passed away with a priest standing over them.
So yes. I have a $10 faucet cover in the bathtub. And an inflatable baby tub. I followed SIDS recommendations to the T. I watch her like a hawk at all times. And I'm keeping her rear-facing in the car as long as she can. She doesn't know any different- she's always been rear-facing. She can still see out the window and I give her a book to read to keep her entertained, and all is well. Sure, there are times when I wish I didn't have to turn into Stretch Armstrong to hand her something in the car at a stoplight. But the evidence on why it's better to keep her rear-facing as long as possible is enough to not make me at all tempted to turn her carseat around. It's also a great excuse to not have to drive people somewhere... "the car seat is still rear-facing so the front passenger seat has no leg room." Works every time.
So. Call me ridiculous about being safe. But brace yourself for the wrath that will ensue.

Heavy stuff over. Now onto baby updates.
And forgive me if I sound braggy... but my kid amazes me. I'll admit that I was very afraid of how she would develop after having such serious and frequent episodes of brady's and desats for the first three months of her life. But she's right on target.
She started walking on October 19th and luckily she did it in front of her mommy AND daddy, and mommy had the iPhone camera rolling to capture every wobbly step :) She's still quite wobbly but getting the hang of it. I sincerely debated dressing her up as a zombie or a drunk redneck for Halloween because she does the PERFECT zombie walk which also happens to look like an inebriated person. More inebriated than zombie, though, because she has a tendency to fall a lot or slam down on her bottom mid-stride. Hilarious.

Talking: There's no stopping her now. Here's her list of words, mostly in order because I've forgotten some of the order (And there have been many instances when I thought a word was a coincidence because I figured there was no way she had learned the word already, but over time realized that it was, in fact, a real word):
Puppy
mommy
bird
daddy
night-night
hi
bye-bye
baby
happy
more
please
uh-oh
That's 12 words. Possibly 13- I taught her to say "bubble" at the doctor's office yesterday because she was a horrible grump and rapidly approaching nuclear meltdown mode and I was trying to distract her. There were some decals on the wall of fish, a mermaid, and some bubbles. So I pointed at each of them and told her what they were, and after I said "bubbles" a few times, the darned kid said "bubble" clear as day. Not "buh-buh" but "buh-buhlll" And then proceeded to do it again. And again. And again. But now she thinks every picture on the wall is a bubble, because she pointed at hubby's Batman poster today and called it a bubble, which is nearly the same as Batman. Yep. Genius.

She also knows six-ish body parts. The 'ish' is because she has started getting confused and has temporarily forgotten where her ears are. She started with bellybutton, and now knows head, ears (on some days), mouth, nose, and feet. When it was just those, she did pretty well. Then I tried to introduce "knees" and she started confusing her mouth with her ears. Typical girl- knows where her mouth is, but forgets where her ears are.

About a month or two ago, she figured out how to ask for something by either pointing at what she wants, gesturing, or doing the ultimate rude-toddler method of grabbing an object and forcefully placing it into your hand. She sucks at being subtle. If I sit on the floor of her playroom, she'll grab a book, place it in my hand, and plop herself down into my lap until I start reading to her. She remains obsessed with books.

The latest development is animal noises. She knows cow, lamb, and lion. Yes, lion. She does this hilarious "roar" that sounds more like she's possessed by some evil demon or channeling her inner metal band singer.

I have no way to estimate how many words she actually knows, but I think it's far more than I realize. I sometimes experiment to see if she understands me and am frequently amazed when she does. In the bath the other night, I held out a ball in one hand and a small bottle of soap in another hand. I asked her to grab the ball, and she did. Alright, must have been a coincidence because she had been playing with the ball a few moments prior. So I held both objects again and asked her to grab the soap, and she grabbed the damn soap. So I started squealing and clapping like a total idiot because she really amazes me when she does stuff like that. She is pretty good at following directions too. She knows the difference between "Emma, say 'mommy'" and "Emma, where is mommy?" (or puppy, or daddy). She knows how to bring something to me, or put something inside of something else (i.e. "Emma put the ball in the bucket."). She gives the best kisses on demand, and now gives hugs (thanks to Pop Pop!!!).

And, of course, she's still a picky eater. UGH! For the last two and a half days, she's been on a hunger strike and has refused to eat much of anything. She refused toast yesterday, so you know it's bad... she pretty much ended up binging on graham crackers today. We're just going to keep trying in a calm manner without pressuring her to eat. I refuse to have a chicken-nuggets-and-macaroni-and-cheese-only toddler.

Her personality has remained mostly the same- rambunctious, easily irritated, incredibly goofy, and not at all snuggly. My little cheesy poof shows affection by smiling and flashing those beautiful, big, blue eyes that twinkle when she's happy. She laughs at everyone and everything (especially her Auntie Lauren. And naturally they are the best of friends). She loves books more than anything else and is a phone/car keys bandit. She loves it when I chase her around the playroom and has the cheesiest little laugh in the world. She officially hates sitting in a shopping cart for longer than about 15-20 minutes and then throws a complete temper tantrum when she can't walk in the store. She wakes up happy and sleeps a lot for her age- two 1.5 hour naps per day and about 11-12 hours of sleep (straight!) at night. In fact, she dropped her night wakings entirely at about 7 months of age and I didn't even realize it until a few months later because I assumed that she would start night-waking again.
Pretty sure I just jinxed that.

Flippity Flop

Time to bare my soul to the blogosphere for the 800th time...

I admit it: I'm a big-time flip-flopper of a mom. I've been repeatedly told that Geminis (which I am) are wishy-washy and, well... guilty as charged. Call it what you want, but I can't seem to make a major parenting decision without changing my mind a billion times. Why? After some soul searching, I realized... it's because my heart tells me one thing, and the interwebs tell me another. Solution? Go with the heart.

At one point, I identified myself as being a middle-ground parent... somewhere between parent-led scheduling and attachment parenting. But there's nothing like a training on attachment-based therapy to make you question every single choice you've made as a parent in an attempt to help your child be independent. Serious face-palm.

I found myself trying to figure out how to correct the bad habit of giving the toddler/baby a bottle and rocking her to sleep for every nap and at bedtime and then I caught myself. Bad habit?! BAD?! Lord, have mercy.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this is in no way a bad habit. How on earth could it be bad that the last thing my little angel sees before her eyes grow too heavy to stay open is her mommy smiling down at her? The last thing she hears is mommy humming her some lullabies? The last thing she smells is my skin (and probably the milk that inevitably ends up on my shirt)? That the last thing she feels is my warmth, my touch, my love... HOW IS THAT BAD?!?!?!

I've always taken her lead. There was a point in time when she didn't want me to hold her at bedtime and she much preferred to wiggle herself to sleep in her crib. We did that for a while, until she had her sleep regression at about 11 months. That was when she impulsively rolled over, sat herself up, and wailed like a banshee because she was tired but couldn't stop herself from sitting up like a big girl. That's when I began my "bad habit" of rocking her to sleep and we've maintained that ever since, with a few exceptions. There have been a few nights that she is too wound up to be rocked to sleep, and she'd prefer to sit in her crib and play with her Chubby Bunny until she falls asleep. But that's not often.

But you know what? She's in bed around 7:30 or 8:00 most nights and sleeps until about 7:00 or 7:30 with barely a peep. Sometimes she'll wake up extra early, but will put herself back to sleep (like this morning, THANK GOD). So my "bad habit" doesn't seem to have any ill effect on her at all.

Babies are not meant to be convenient. In a world in which most parents work outside of the home, we've suddenly adopted a philosophy of trying to have these little independent mini-adults running around so that we get our precious sleep and don't have to deal anything inconvenient. Pfffttt... that's absolutely silly. Bring on the full parenting experience- I signed up to be a parent, not a babysitter.

So I flip-flopped a hundred times about whether or not to start putting her in her crib awake instead of rocking her to sleep. My final decision is to rock her to sleep... she won't be in high school and need me to rock her to sleep. And when she's in high school, I'll so sorely miss these times.

My latest flip-flopping is about her bottles. She has finally (hallelujah) started drinking from a straw cup and still despises sippy cups. Whatever, I'll take what I can get at this point... but I've still been giving her milk in a bottle at nap time and bed time and for some reason this bothered me. Again, thanks to the interwebs for putting it into my mind that my child is supposed to be broken of the "bottle habit" at 12 months. Nah. She's fine... the only thing I do worry about is her teeth, but at least she doesn't fall asleep with the bottle in her mouth. She finished her milk and then drifts off to sleep... I brush her teeth every night. But I should probably give her a sip of water after her bedtime bottle for extra protection against bottle rot. Anyways... I read some stuff online today that made so much sense- why take away something that comforts her? She'll grow out of it and decide when she no longer needs it. I definitely trust that- she certainly tells us when she's had enough of something. She broke herself of the pacifier habit at only a few months of age. I found a pacifier and gave it to her to see what she would do, and she chewed on the plastic part and clearly had no idea what it was intended for. Then she threw it and moved on with her little life.

So that's where I stand- I'm going to continue to be the horrible mother who gives her one-year-old a bottle and rocks her to sleep every night. Jeez, someone should take away my parenting license pronto before I start getting really crazy and doing something like holding her when she's being clingy. The horror.

Alright. Moving right along...

New developments: Baby Bird points with her fat little index finger now. And her little thumb sticks out too (making an "L" shape) so I've been trying to teach her to say "pew pew pew" while she's pointing at things so it makes it look like she's shooting an imaginary gun. I should probably stop encouraging that.
She's been making strides with eating table food, and she apparently loves anything covered in tomato sauce, go figure. She ate veggie pasta with tomato sauce the other night and I couldn't give it to her fast enough. I'm not even sure if she really even chewed it... her days of gagging on everything are behind us. HOORAY!!! She ate tortellini a few weeks ago and I seriously thought I was going to do a victory lap around the house. I had the urge to call everyone who cared and tell them about my amazing child that just ate three tortellini. I'm so serious, too- I haven't been that excited about something in a very long time.
She's still not walking, and I don't even care. Really, I don't... she's doing it in her own time and is getting closer day-by-day so I'm not at all concerned. She recently started cruising on furniture a lot more, and letting go of one piece of furniture to switch over to another one nearby. She's also being daring and letting go of her support to stand on her own for a few seconds at a time.
She's talking up a storm now, too. She has little conversations with herself about whatever she's playing with and you can easily tell the emotion behind her gibberish- sometimes she's clearly happy, and other times she's a little peeved or confused.
Her favorite things in the whole world are birds. Specifically, big, black, loud crows. She was sitting in her highchair yesterday morning eating her breakfast and watching outside to see if one of the crows would land on the lightpost. I was in the kitchen getting everything ready for the day, when I heard her excitedly say "bird!" I looked over and she was pointing out the sliding glass door, and there was a giant crow perched on top of the lightpost. She also pointed at the dog the other morning and said "puppy." So stinking cute.
She's still holding steady at six words- puppy, mommy, bird, daddy, hi, and night-night. "Baby" may be the next one, but I'm not sure on that yet.
Her favorite person in the world is apparently her Grammy. She hadn't seen her Grammy in a week, and wanted nothing to do with anyone or anything other than her Grammy yesterday morning. I ceased to exist the moment she saw her and she wouldn't let anyone else hold her, nor would she let Grammy put her down. I'm pretty sure she made her Grammy's day. I happen to love her Grammy too, so we have that in common :)
She has also discovered how to put things into other things... like putting blocks into a bucket, and then dumping them out. We have this Fischer Price activity barn and one side has a cow's face with an open mouth and you can feed it little plastic veggies. She picked up on that and does it all the time (and it's really not that easy). The other side has a chicken with a little chute underneath it and a basket at the bottom. There are plastic slightly-larger-than-life-sized eggs that you can put down the chute so they land in the basket. She's mastered that too. She can work buttons, switches, and is starting to try shape-sorting, although she's a long way from mastering that.
AND. She likes me to hold her now. :) She gives lots of kisses, and clings to me at times.

So, yea. Life is wonderful... I've never felt so much love in my heart and I feel so lucky to have such a cute, sweet, beautiful, amazing child. When I'm being a horrible mother and rocking her while she sleeps at night, I remind myself how fortunate I am to have my little cuddle bug in my arms and to have had another day with her in my life. My arms were empty for years and I longed to hold a child of my own. Now I'm never going to let her go...
(holy sappiness.)

The White Flag Still Flies

It's 10pm on a Saturday and I'm blogging against my better judgment. But fear not, I've been doing lots of things against my better judgment lately and all has worked out well so far.
Apparently my last post was on Emma's first birthday, and much has happened since then.
For instance... I'm now the mother of a one-year-old. I hesitate to call her a toddler because she's not walking yet and I'm going to milk every last drop of baby-hood out of this kid. Heck, I'll probably not refer to her as a toddler until she's preschool aged. Or maybe she'll just be my baby for ever and ever and ever. That sounds better to me.
I made it through her first birthday with minimal tears, and most of them were from happiness at the fact that we made it through the first year and are still a family of three. Yep, we all survived those 365 days somehow and have some now-distant memories, like:
My extreme fear of SIDS. I forgot to mention this in a previous post, but we weaned ourselves of the motion-sensing diaper clip at about 10 months of age. Pathetic, I know. But it was a sincere God-send and the only reason I was able to sleep at all for those first ten months. I was ready to ditch the clip before hubby was... his philosophy was to keep it on her until she started taking it off in the middle of the night. I figured she was past the danger zone for SIDS but agreed to keep it on her for a while. Until I was woken up in the middle of the night to an obnoxious beeping sound, only to find my peacefully slumbering baby in her crib with her clip lying next to her on the mattress. So that was the final time we used the clip, and we haven't looked back.
The bradys. You know what's absolutely absurd? Sometimes I forget about the bradys, like it never happened. I realized that I told someone recently that she stayed in the NICU for three weeks but was a healthy baby, and only later remembered that she was not, in fact, healthy at all. She practically died in my arms on daily basis for almost two months straight. But no more of that!
Spit up. YES, I'm so glad to not be drenched in spit-up anymore. It did absolutely nothing positive for my skin or clothes and made me smell absolutely wretched. In fact, I recently pulled a shirt out of the drawer that I hadn't worn in quite a while and couldn't figure out why I kept catching a whiff of vomit stink throughout the day (luckily it was a t-shirt that I only wear around the house). Then I looked in the mirror, and saw the faint outline of a stain, and the memory of those awful nights of projectile vomiting from December/January came flooding back. When we moved from the old house, I could clearly see the stains in the carpet from the vomit puddles.
Being up all night. I was reading some old blog posts recently about the mommy meltdowns and sleepless nights and thought... jeez, I'm tired. I went to bed at 10:30 last night and got up at 7:30. YAWN. LOL.
Alright, There's so much more to the list, but I need to get on to the good stuff.

Food: That white flag is still flying shamefully high. I feel so defeated when it comes to feeding this kid, who still refuses pretty much everything that's not baby fruit. We've had some small victories, though, and now she'll eat small amounts of cheese, toast, goldfish crackers (the whole grain kind, of course), cold macaroni and cheese, and muffins. She may like bagels, but I'm not sure on that. And tonight, she actually ate some boiled carrots and leftover long-grain and wild rice from the other night. I was shocked at how much she liked the rice. But the issue is that she'll only eat small amounts of each thing before she loses interest and starts grumping. Except for toast, because she'll sometimes eat almost half a slice of that. The last few days have been tough because she hasn't wanted to eat much of anything (even a sweet potato!), likely due to her teething. The gagging has subsided a little bit, but she still doesn't want much to do with anything I've tried giving her. UGH. I also struggle with finding the time to prepare table food for her. I try to give her a sample of what we eat, but she usually wants nothing to do with it. I even bought some fancy-shmancy Gerber toddler entrees, and she thought I had lost my mind when I tried to get her to eat them. In her defense, the texture of the "ravioli" was a little off-putting. So, as always, I'm open to suggestions on how/what to feed her. Everything I've read has suggested repetition and gentle encouragement. So, onwards I march.
We're weaning her from baby formula! And the bank account really appreciates that! I figured my super-picky kid would take issue with transitioning from formula to cow's milk and that we'd slowly transition her from one to the other. On a whim, I gave her some milk in her bottle and she clearly loved it. She's a milk fiend... we're still finishing up the last bit of baby formula we have, and then we'll keep some toddler formula on hand while she's still being such a picky eater. I want to make sure she's getting the nutrients she needs, even on her fussy days. Now to wean her from her naptime and bedtime bottles.
Speaking of bottles. She hates sippy cups. And straw cups. And training cups. And basically anything that's not a bottle. UGH. I just have to keep reminding myself that she's technically only 11 months old still.

Teeth: SIX! And numbers 7 and 8 are making their triumphant (and grumpy) debut. She likes brushing her teeth at night before bed :)

Sleep: Still going strong! She has had a few short-lived sleep regressions but is still sleeping about 11-12 hours straight at night. She'll sometimes wake up around 6 or 6:30 in the morning and talk to herself and stand up in her crib, but she falls back asleep for another hour or so. At night, I get her fully asleep (most nights) before I put her down, and still put her on her back because it's the easiest for me to do. At some point, she flips herself on her tummy and remains in some sort of face-down position throughout the night. Most of the time, she looks like a drunk person who's passed out on the floor. We keep her "Chubby Bunny" in her crib with her and sometimes she'll sleep with her arm around it, although apparently the two of them are not on the best of terms because the bunny has ended up on the floor at some point in the middle of the night.

Words: SIX!!! Yes, SIX!!! In this order (I think, sometimes it's hard to tell when a word is a coincidence or a real word until after she's said it a few times):
1. Puppy
2. Mommy
3. Bird (yep. BIRD. My child is so strange)
4. Daddy
5. Hi
6. Night-Night

She speaks some crazy version of baby gibberish and I swear it sounds like she's an Indian rapper most days. She uses all kinds of inflection and expressions and tells some really interesting sounding stories, if only I could understand what she's actually saying.

Development: She's pretty much on-target for her actual age with the exception of walking. But she could care less about walking- she's far too content with crawling. She pulls herself up on everything but isn't yet standing without support... she can take her time on that. I'm in no hurry ;) Her language development is amazing and her little hands are still really agile.

Growth: My miracle-gro baby has grown less than a half pound in the last four months. The doctor isn't worried and she's still healthy, but I guess she decided to take a break from growing. That's fine with me, too, because it's been nice to have her stay in the same size of clothing for longer than two months.

This kid can certainly dazzle an audience and I think we have a pop star in the making. She can sing... I kid you not. It's the darned cutest thing ever- I'll walk around and sing or hum to her and lately she's been humming right back at me. It usually just consists of repeating one high note and one low note back and forth, but I'm blown away that she can do that. She also "beat-boxes" when she goes back and forth between clicking her tongue on the top of her palette and popping her lips... I'm inclined to think that it's some sort of highly advanced skill for a one-year-old, but I could be wrong on that.

Oh, and she has finally realized that she needs her mommy and daddy! FINALLY! If she's scared (usually of thunder or the vacuum cleaner), she'll hurriedly crawl over to me and climb into my lap as quickly as possible and proceed to cling to me like a baby koala. She's starting to cuddle a little, too. Woohoo!

Her current favorite thing to do is read books. Well, sit in mommy's lap while mommy reads a book and Emma interacts accordingly (like on the page in her elephant book that shows an elephant stomping... I taught her to stomp her foot when we get to that page, and to nuzzle into mommy when we get to the page showing elephants nuzzling. so. cute.), then she'll proceed to go back through the book and "read" it herself. She uses her little thumbs to open up the pages and helps me turn them when I'm reading her the book. All I have to do is tell her to get a book, and she'll climb into my lap and wait for the fun to begin. I really cherish those moments :)

Year One

I'm hoping I can make this a yearly tradition, either in writing or on video (when she's old enough to actually answer the questions):

YEAR ONE!

How old are you? One!

What is your nickname? It changes every few weeks. The most common have been sweet potato, tater, and boo-boo. Although lately it's been moo.

What is your favorite color? I don't think you have one yet.

What is your favorite animal? Puppy, duh.

What is your favorite book? "Pat the Bunny" although it ends up being more like "Eat the Bunny"

What is your favorite TV show? Baby Einstein, but that's because it's really the only thing we let you watch.

What is your favorite movie? You've never watched a movie. You're still a baby and have an incredibly short attention span.

What is your favorite song? Anything that is music.

What is your favorite drink? Formula, and you literally will not drink anything else.

What is your favorite dinner? Sweet potatoes.

What is your favorite snack? Puffs or yogurt melts

What is your favorite outfit? You really could care less about clothes.

What is your favorite game? Refuse to go to sleep? Oh, wait... no. Probably pulling yourself up in the pack n play and then slamming your little butt down as hard as you can, if you consider that a "game"

What is your favorite toy? For the last few days, it's been a little ball with a bell inside it. It looks like a cat toy, but it's not. You like to hold it and shake it incessantly.

Who is your best friend? I'd like to think it's me (mommy) but I'm pretty sure it's the dog.

What is your favorite thing to do? Be carried around by mommy.

What is your favorite holiday? I'm going with Christmas on this one.

What is your favorite thing to take to bed with you at night? I don't think you care, but we've been putting your "Chubby Bunny" in your crib with you. You love that little guy... Grammy bought him for you after Easter.

Where is your favorite place to go? Shopping!

Where do you want to go on vacation? I think you're already looking forward to going on that cruise when Pop retires, right? ;)

What do you want to be when you grow up? Hopefully a doctor. 

What did you do on your birthday? Grumped a lot. Decided that sitting in the bath is for babies, so you stood for almost the whole thing and laughed in my face (literally). We went grocery shopping where you made some new friends. Mommy took you for a walk around the block. You ate apple/strawberry/banana and oatmeal for breakfast, mac 'n cheese with veggies and cheerios for lunch, and sweet potato/turkey/grains for dinner with some baby "cheetos" and yogurt melts. And then you adamantly refused to go to bed until almost 10pm. You gave mommy and daddy sweet little kisses with your tongue sticking out. And you played with your new toy- a big Barn with lots of activities on it.

Dear Emma

Dear Emma,
I'm writing this in a bit of a fog, because you decided to prolong your bedtime by about two hours and now I'm a little worn out. So, thanks for that. :)
It's been one year since you came flying into this world and made me a mother. In this short year, you've challenged me like I've never been before, deprived me of sleep, soaked me in every god-awful bodily fluid possible, and filled my heart with a kind of love I never knew existed. Yes, my sweet little princess, I wouldn't trade the vomit-soaked shirts for anything else in the world.
You smiled at about six weeks of age, learned to hit your toys at three months of age, laughed at four months, rolled over at seven months, sat by yourself at eight months, said your first word at ten months, and crawled/pulled up/cruised/began climbing at eleven months.
Yet the biggest lesson you've taught me is that none of that really matters, and it's not a scorecard. What matters is that you're healthy, happy, and learning something new every day. And you're here today, which is all I can really ask for.
So much has changed in just one year. One year ago, you were in the NICU and daddy and I were trying to wrap our heads around your existence in this world. I was waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of an alarm so I could pump a few drops of milk for you. Things changed gradually, but significantly. I started working in a new location, we bought a bigger house (you're an expensive kid, don't ever forget that), I got promoted... very little of our lives are the same as they were a year ago.
I still think about the days when I worried I'd never sit in a dark room while rocking my child to sleep, or plan a first birthday party. I don't take these tender days for granted. I want nothing more than a million more days like today, even if it means that I go to bed with frayed nerves because you didn't want to go to sleep. I forgive you, I promise :)
I always try to imagine what you'll look like and how you'll act when you're another year older, but it's so difficult to picture it. I'm almost certain you'll still be a hot-headed little spitfire because I don't think that's a trait that's easily lost. I think you'll be a funny little kid who doesn't like to be told 'no' and still enjoys music more than anything. It looks like you'll still have blue eyes and probably some dirty blond hair with a smidge of red in it. I bet you'll hate wearing hair bows or having your hair done at all. You'll still be a picky eater but hopefully a good sleeper *fingers crossed* And I'm really holding out hope that you'll like to cuddle, because I really want to cuddle with you and you just won't let me!
So here's to the next 525,600 minutes of our lives. I hope they're filled with happiness, love, adventure, learning, and excitement. May we look back on today and see how far we've all come and be grateful for every last thing we have.
To my dear, sweet, beautiful miracle of a child: I love you more than you'll ever know.

Babies are Like Angry Drunk People

It's about 9:45pm on a Sunday night. Day two of my "staycation." And so far, I've been splattered with pureed green beans and pureed beef, soaked with bath water that likely had pee in it, smudged with poo during an icky diaper change, and slapped multiple times with a fat little hand saturated with baby spit. So, yea... today wasn't really that bad.

Let's just get right down to it... shall we?

Food: (I like how I pretend to have some kind of format for my posts lately...)
*hides face* *slowly raises a pathetic white flag and waves it around shamefully*
I'm at a complete and total loss. Still. I can't get this kid to eat table food other than Cheerios, toast, and bananas. She'll eat almost any pureed fruit and some pureed veggies, especially anything with sweet potatoes in it. Otherwise, it's a no-go. I tried giving her some steamed sweet peas tonight, and when I popped one in her mouth, she gave me this look as if to say "really, mom?" and spit it out. Then refused to let anything else pass her lips. Ugh. I tried giving her a hard-boiled egg yesterday morning and she had some of the yoke, but gagged a little and refused more. Even with the Cheerios and toast, she still doesn't eat a whole lot (and ends up feeding the majority of what's on her tray to the dog) and most of her food is still baby purees and cereal. So if anyone has any advice on how the heck to get an overly gaggy, very picky and STUBBORN baby to transition to table foods and textures, I'm all ears. Or eyes, if you write it to me.

Sleep: Well... things had been going very well until tonight. She entered into a sleep regression at about 11 months of age when she learned how to sit herself up on her own. She only ended up night waking for a handful of nights and was eventually able to get herself back to sleep with little fussing in the wee hours of the morning. My solution at bedtime was to start rocking her to sleep again- she had pretty much refused to let me do that for a while, so I would plop her into her crib after her bottle and she would happily put herself to sleep. So when the regression hit, I started putting her in her crib when she was fully asleep, and it worked like a charm. I also didn't mind doing it anyways, because I love holding her and spending that time with her. But I decided that I'd try to start weaning her from the nighttime rocking by slowly decreasing the amount of time I rock her after she's asleep, leading up to putting her in bed before she's asleep. I planned to try doing that slowly throughout the week (since I have the week off from work), but she wasn't really interested in going to sleep in my arms tonight- consequently, that is the LAST TIME I'm giving her fruit for dinner. Rookie mom mistake. So I put her in her crib while she was fully awake but sleepy, and she sat herself up as I expected. As I left her room, she started to whine and eventually began crying. I watched her on the monitor to see if she'd settle down, but she pulled herself up to standing and her crying escalated, so I went in to soothe her. She still wasn't interested in sleeping, and much preferred trying to pull my face off, rip out my hair, and repeatedly slap my chest, in between playing with her own foot and telling me some kind of bedtime story that I didn't quite understand. So I put her in her crib again, and the whining began the instant her little bum touched the mattress. I sat on the floor, hoping it would keep her calm enough that she'd put herself to sleep. It kept her calm, but sleep was out of the question. Instead, she partied- laughing, squealing, pulling up to standing, bouncing, and babbling like a drunken fool. I left the room, and the crying started. No, not crying... more like wailing. And then the worst thing happened...
In the midst of the wailing, she started saying "mama." She has never said it before, with the exception of some random and meaningless babbling. There are no words to describe the ache I felt in my heart when I heard my little angel crying hysterically and saying "mama" repeatedly. I did smile a bit and laugh to myself, realizing that my stubborn little independent firecracker of a kid said my name for the first time ever when she was desperate for me to come get her. Well played, child. In all seriousness, though, I finally felt like she realized that she needs me and wanted me to be with her. For the first eleven months of her life, she seemed to think she was pretty self-sufficient. Needless to say, I marched back into her room and rocked her until she fell asleep in my arms.
Unfortunately, the story doesn't end there. She somehow woke up about five minutes after I put her down and pulled herself up again, while crying and saying "mama." This time, I could tell she was exhausted, so I let her fuss herself to sleep... but I did feel pretty bad about it :(

Development: Crazy Baby took off like a rocket over the last month... within three weeks of crawling for the first time, she was pulling up on furniture, climbing on top of the laundry basket, and cruising around on furniture/the pack n play. She takes some drunk steps if you hold her arms but she has zero interest in walking since crawling is so novel to her still. She mimics really well too- tonight, she learned how to take a deep breath and scrunch up her nose. She can also just take in a deep breath through her nose if you do it first, then laughs afterwards. If you say "yay" she claps, say "no" and she shakes her head, and can click her tongue on the top of her palette if you do it first. She discovered her tongue in the mirror and likes sticking it out while watching herself do so. She still says "puppy" and now, apparently, "mama." I think she may also try to say "bottle," which, of course, comes out as "ba-ba." The thing that kills me about her poor eating habits is that she is fully capable of eating like a big girl- we have these "waffle wheel" snacks made by Gerber and she actually likes them (they're sweet, go figure. We give them to her after some of her meals because the're big and I figured they'd help her learn to take bites out of things. No big deal- she took to it right away. Her motor skills are just fine for eating like a  toddler- she can pick up small pieces and bite off pieces of larger things. Hmph.

Big girl stuff: Remember how I was so terrified of SIDS that I thought if I breathed wrong, something bad would happen? I'm finally relaxing because she's definitely old enough and far enough along with her development that I think she'll be ok. But I don't regret for a single second my choice to stick to the SIDS recommendations. Up until now, she NEVER slept with anything soft- no soft or fluffy blankets, no blankets at all aside from being swaddled, no stuffed animals, no pillows- and was always on her back on a firm mattress. The only time she slept in mommy and daddy's bed was when she was a teeny newborn and I had her sleep on my chest a couple of times when she was fussy in the morning, but only for about an hour at a time. But now, she's a big girl and rapidly approaching toddlerdom. She sleeps on her tummy by choice, but I still put her on her back at night because it's easier for me that way. She typically flips herself over at some point in the night. I just turned her mattress today so that she's sleeping on the softer side now, and we've had a lovey (which we're switching out soon) in her crib at night lately. So... goodbye, SIDS rules! :) We also had to put the carseat straps at the top notch and she's about to grow out of her infant seat and move on to the convertible kind. And she wears big-girl two-piece jammies to bed, but she's been doing that for a few months now. We also added teeth brushing to her nighttime routine.

Teeth count: FOUR! With two more coming in. There was a little break in between tooth number one and tooth number two, but three and four (her two top front teeth) came in at the same time. She handled it well... there's a pretty large gap between the top ones, so we've dubbed them the "Michael Strahan teeth."

I think she finally likes me, which is a huge development. She's been much more smiley with me over the last few days and tries to climb on me too. Maybe I just don't smell bad anymore...

Add these to the list of things I've learned the hard way:
Swim diapers are not made to work like real diapers.
Don't give your child fruit for dinner.

Things Emma loves:
Her "chubby bunny" stuffed bunny that her Grammy gave her. It's her favorite stuffed animal.
Sweet potatoes.
Fruit.
Tap dancing in the bath tub.
Baby Einstein videos.
Pulling herself up in the pack n play, then slamming her little butt down on the mattress. The harder she falls, the bigger she smiles.
Drinking the water from the shower head when I rinse her off in the bath.
Being splashed in the face with water, then licking the water off her lips.
Chasing plastic balls around the living room.
Trying to crawl fast enough to reach the dog's food and water bowls before mommy or daddy can catch her.
Slapping mommy/daddy in the face when we try to give her kisses.
Biting mommy.

Things Emma hates:
Everything else.

As expected, I've been feeling a little emotional as we approach Emma's first birthday. On one hand, I'm so beyond thrilled that we've made it this far and that she's such a healthy, albeit stubborn, little girl. On the other hand, I still feel incredibly sad when I see the little scars all over her arms and legs from being in the NICU. We've all come so far in just one year... but we're all alive, happy, and healthy. That's all that matters in the end, no matter how we got here.

Baby on the Move

Ah, Father's Day. A day to celebrate 50% of the reason we each exist... typically with some sort of tongue-in-cheek card that says "thanks, Dad, for not killing me when I was a kid" in not as many words.
But for me, I'm going to choose another route- giving a big public shout-out to the two men in my life that have helped make me who I am today. And probably embarrassing them in the process, because I'm good at doing that.
Starting with... my own dad. I certainly wouldn't be where I am today without him. My dad has always been my rock, my guidance, and my biggest cheerleader. He taught me the importance of hard work, determination, and never giving up and is the main reason I've never been a quitter. I used to roll my eyes when he'd dole out life lessons via stories about his employees at work, yet I always remembered those lessons and stories in the end. Behind the eye rolling, I knew he was telling me those things because he wanted me to be successful as an adult. I always liked to make him proud of me (and still do)- I think if you work hard at anything- especially parenting- you should be able to take some pride in the end result, am I right? I also remember lying in bed, crying my eyes out because of the cruel world that so strongly hates preteen girls (what I get to look forward to with my own daughter some day) and having my dad kneel beside my bed and listen to my whining. Looking back, I realize that he put aside his only free time to be there for me when I needed him the most. I'm sure he was exhausted from working long hours but he never let on to that, and it's those gestures that stuck with me and made me feel important and loved. So, Dad- I love you more than words can express and thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for every single thing you've ever done. And every single thing you've ever taught me. And for always believing in me and pushing me to be the best I can be.
And then there's hubby... this year is his first "real" father's day. I knew he'd be a good father to our child, but had no idea how easily he'd take to his new role. Seeing how strongly and deeply he loves our little girl makes my heart feel like it's going to explode into a million awesome pieces. I'm so happy that Emma gets to have a great role model in her life, just like I did- my dad always treated my mom with respect and modeled for me how a man is supposed to treat a woman. And Emma will grow up in the same way, and I couldn't be happier about that. She'll get to be daddy's little girl forever... she loves him so much, and so do I. We're both very lucky girls... she's the only one who gets to call him daddy, and I'm the only one who gets to call him my husband. :)

Ok, enough with the cheese. On to the cheeseball.

My life is over. It's been a great ride so far, but it's over now... because my crazy baby can crawl. As if it wasn't scary enough that she can crawl, she also doesn't have enough sense to know that she can't pull herself up to standing on certain objects like... I don't know... walls. Wicker baskets. The blanket hanging off the side of the bed. Silly baby...
This whole thing started yesterday when she was able to crawl forward about half of a body length before her "stanky leg," as we call it, would get in the way. She's so good at getting herself up to sitting by straightening out one leg and using it for leverage, that her leg automatically straightens while she's trying to crawl and thrusts her into a sitting position against her wishes. Thus, the stanky leg. I was on the house phone (yep, I am one of the few people my age with a house phone. And it's cordless too, because I'm cool like that) this evening and knew the crazy baby would want to play with it, so I put it on the floor way out of her reach- maybe about 3 feet away. And wouldn't you know it, she crawled right after it. And because I was so excited about her crawling for the first time, I quickly moved the phone further out of her reach and made her crawl farther. I'm going to give her a complex if I keep doing that stuff to her ;) Anyways, I shouted to hubby to come watch our amazing mobile child, and with some coaxing, she did it again.
So there you have it: the baby can crawl. My life is over. The end.
Other developments:
Pulling herself to standing in her pack n play. That started earlier this week... on Thursday (6/13) I think.
Some serious baby gibberish. It's far beyond babbling, as she's using inflection now and narrates her whole day. Sometimes I swear she's telling me a story, yelling at me in disgust, or asking me questions.
Taking steps! Her little feet are finally lifting up while she's standing and she's on her way to cruising on furniture, once she gets her sea legs.
Playing games. She'll hold out the strap of her changing pad so that her daddy can pretend to chomp on it, then she'll giggle and hold it out for him again.
Sharing. Awwwww... she offers to share her food sometimes. She'll hold it out in her hand and wait for you to pretend to eat it. Except her rice rusks (formerly "death cookies" but now she can eat them just fine) because she wouldn't share those with the Pope. Mostly because she's a baby and she doesn't know who the Pope is.
Stacking- definitely her most advanced skill. She has these little bowls that stack, snap together, etc. and there are tons of things you can do with them. They're in all different colors and graduated sizes, and she has enjoyed playing with them in different capacities as she's gotten older. Now, she'll take a bowl and stack it inside another one, then pick those two up and try to stack them in another bowl. She still looks drunk while she's doing it, though.

Sleep: I thought I was done-zo this week. She had been sleeping like such a champ for months and I was fully used to getting a good night's sleep every night and then BAM. Sleep regression. I remembered reading about how babies have sleep difficulties when they reach big milestones, like sitting up, because they like to practice their new skills all day and night. But I had no idea that it actually translates into screaming bedtime baby and night waking. And it couldn't have come at much worse of a time, either. Luckily, she has only had two nights of night-waking and a handful of nights of not wanting to go to bed. She would flip herself onto her tummy, sit herself up, then try to pull herself up on the side of her crib. When that didn't work, she'd get frustrated and cry. I'd put her on her back, and she'd repeat the whole thing. One night, I finally had to just stick my hand in the crib for her to play with (her lovey lost it's pizzazz, apparently) until she was sleepy enough for me to sneak out without her having a fit. Sheesh. After that night, we haven't had any more issues, but as always, that's subject to change.
Night two of night-wakings, though, was one of those "I-learned-that-the-hard-way" types of nights. I tend to learn things the hard way pretty frequently. This week's lesson: don't check on the baby in the middle of the night unless you really think something is wrong. She woke up and I heard her grunting, so I checked the monitor and saw that she was on her tummy. I gave her a few minutes and the grunting subsided, but I couldn't see her because the crib rail was blocking my view of her from the monitor. I could, however, see her arm and her hand and it appeared that she had fallen back asleep on her tummy. So I went to check on her, because she hasn't slept on her tummy since she was on the heart monitor and I am still a nut case about SIDS. Of course her bedroom door made a bunch of noise when I started opening it. So I stood there for a few moments, then peeked in and saw her lying on her tummy. I crept over to her crib, where I could see that her eyes were clearly open and quickly learned that she has really good peripheral vision. She picked up her head, and I backed out of her room, hoping she'd think I was a figment of her baby imagination. Nope. She proceeded to get really pissed so I had to make up a bottle and get her back into bed. Ugh.
That was really the difficult part of the whole thing- she would get really upset and start crying, but holding her didn't soothe her and only got her more awake. So bottle and rocking is the only way to get her back into bed, and I was hoping I wasn't setting up a bad habit. But she's done well since then, so we'll see what happens.
A lot has changed over the last two weeks- we had to move the baby monitor camera up onto the wall from it's former spot on the crib rail. We took her to the zoo last weekend and she adamantly refused to nap after we got back in the afternoon. She sat herself up in the crib and saw the camera. All I saw on the monitor was a big, close-up baby face, a fat hand, and then the carpet. She knocked the camera down twice before I wised up and moved it, but then we couldn't see her. So we hung it on the wall, where it has stayed. She's also now napping for 1.5 hour increments twice a day, which is a half hour shorter per nap than how she had been napping about two weeks ago. That actually happened quite suddenly.

Food: Still my biggest source of confusion and frustration. She eats baby puffs like a champ and is still really picky about her baby food/purees. She would eat yogurt all day every day if I'd let her. And anything mildly thick, lumpy, or textured makes her instantly gag and turn away her head. We've tried Cheerios, but those make her gag too. I can thicken her purees with cereal and she does fine with that, but anything else is a big fat no. *sigh* anyone have tips for a seriously gaggy baby? I don't want to battle a food aversion! And I'm tired of wasting so much baby food, and don't have the time or energy to make my own.

She still initiates kisses and it's the darned cutest thing ever. I caught her asking for kisses from the puppy today, too... for such an independent, non-snuggly child, she certainly loves kisses. Funny... mommy loves kisses too ;)

So one year ago today, I was in the hospital. Yep- it's been an entire year since my life changed so dramatically. I went to the doctor one day, and came home four weeks later as a mom with no baby in my arms. And here I am a year later- new house, new job, and a cheesy goober of a baby that is kind of a jerk to me at times. Ok... most of the time. She bites, slaps, kicks, and goobers all over me all day long. It's ok, though. I'll get her back some day!