OMG FRANTIC BLOG POST BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT TO WRITE ABOUT AND I REALLY NEED TO GO TO BED! BAH!
But seriously. A lot has happened over the last week and I really want to put it all in writing while it's still fresh in my memory. It's not that I haven't had time to blog, because I've actually had plenty, but I've been pretty wrapped up in a book that I can't put down so I've found that my four-day weekend (Thanksgiving, woohoo!) drifted by very quickly. Now it's almost 10pm on Sunday. Boooooo.
I spent a lot of time with my little sweet pea during the long weekend because hubby was away on a dude's weekend (read: bachelor party) for two days, leaving me to monopolize every second of baby girl's awake time. It was tiring, but super fun.
Over the last week, Emma has really refined her grabbing skills to the point where she's almost a pro at it. Almost. It all started with her having more control over her arms, leading to her being able to move them slower and allow her the opportunity to catch her toys. But this was mostly done without her looking. I guess she was just that good- she didn't even need to look at what she was doing! Now, she can look at a toy, decide she wants to grab it, shakily move her arm towards it, grab on, and pull. Coincidentally, it's not so great for mommy's long hair. I keep forgetting to put it up for middle-of-the-night feeds. Anyways, if a toy easy enough for her to grab- say, a link- then she can hold on for quite a while. She has a small, soft rattle that she likes to grab, but she doesn't possess the grip strength to keep hold of it while she flails it around, resulting in the rattle being accidentally thrown directly at her face more than once. She doesn't care, though. She just keeps on flailing. Anyways, her playmat has, once again, taken on new form for her. Initially, when she was a teeny-tiny newborn/preemie, she would lie on it and stare at the bars that hold the toys. One bar is black with white polka dots, the other is bright-colored stripes; they're perfect for early visual stimulation and development. Eventually, she began looking at the toys hanging above her. Then she realized that she could hit them. Then she started grabbing. Now she's intentionally grabbing them. It's really stinking cute, too- she grabs a toy on her right side (usually the chain of links I made), and one on her left side (currently, it's her plastic zebra rattle), and pulls them both down. Then, she starts moving them around in little circles and random patterns because she still can't keep her arms still... not that she wants to. But it seriously looks like she's steering some unseen spaceship with hanging joysticks or conducting an imaginary orchestra with her toys. This kid cracks me up.
That's one of the biggest changes with her... she now has intent. She wants to do something, and then tries to do it. You can just see the gears turning in her head as she thinks about what is going on around her. If I lay her on the floor and walk around the room, her eyes and head follow me around with ease. She loves watching what I do. It doesn't take much to entertain her- thank God. But as the days are going on, it's becoming more clear that she's really absorbing everything around her and she wants to interact with her environment and be a part of the world around her. Gone is the tiny, skinny baby who stared off into the distance and smiled at the ceiling.
Speaking of smiles. She's been flashing her toothless grin around all day every day. Every time she sees me, she smiles instantly (she's going to give me a big head about how important I am. *wink*), and she also smiles at other people, it just takes a few seconds longer for her to process new faces. So all weekend, I've been greeted with smiles every time I approach her.
Thursday, 11/22, was her first Thanksgiving! Not that it meant much to her. She really had no clue what was going on. But for me, it meant a whole room full of people who were more than happy to hold the baby while I indulged in a glass (ok, two) of wine. After we got back home, it was time for bath and bed. Her Boppy Newborn Lounger has had an official title change- it is now her pre-and post bath pillow. I drape her towel over it, place her on it, and take her out of her diaper before her bath. After her bath, I put her on the pillow again and wrap her towel around her. It works great. So before her bath on Thanksgiving, I put her on her pillow and told her that it seemed she'd have a fun bath because she was in a good mood. She looked up at me and smiled, so I smiled back and giggled. And then it began... she had her first real, true laugh. Up until then, she's basically had a vocalized smile- she'd smile and make this goofy little noise at the same time. But this was different- it was a full-on, open-mouthed laugh. And it quickly escalated into a giggling fit. Tears welled up in my eyes from laughing so hard right along with her. Hubby managed to get a quick video of her lying on her pillow in the bathroom in just an unfastened diaper (she's going to kill us for this when she's older), giggling hysterically. I put her in her bath, and held up her rubber ducky while saying "quack quack" and bobbing the ducky up and down. That made her laugh even harder. She's only had two more laughing fits like that since then, but I have treasured every second of them :)
I tried spoon-feeding her this week too. I know, I know. It's a little early. I felt like she was ready, though- she takes her medicine out of her dropper with no issues. I just put it in the front of her mouth, drip some on the front of her tongue, and she swallows it with ease. She was also on cereal in her bottle for her reflux since she was -5weeks old (she came home at 35 weeks and was already on cereal at that point) until she was about 2 1/2 months old. So I gave her some soupy rice cereal on a spoon and she wasn't thrilled. But she was also famished. I tried again with apples mixed with some breastmilk the next morning, and she was more interested and intrigued, but still too hungry to care too much. Today, hubby gave her some more cereal and she loved it. She smiled and sputtered a bit with cereal all over her face. Too cute.
But I don't know if we should continue or wait another month. On the one hand, she seems to like it and does well with it. On the other hand, the AAP and WHO suggest waiting until 6 months. But then there's all of the literature that says that waiting too much longer than that puts the baby at risk of a food aversion. She's already had a feeding tube, which can cause an aversion down the road. I had a little girl on my caseload at work that had a food aversion... it's not something I'd like to contend with. So- you're supposed to start at 6 months, no sooner, no later? But then the general recommendation from pediatricians and a lot of reputable parenting websites suggest 4-6 months, depending if your child appears ready. Mine is 4 1/2 months old and seems ready. But is it too early? Bah! Parenting is a lot of trial and error, so I've learned.
I have definitely sunken into my groove with being a mommy. No longer am I horrified of finding her blue in her carseat after a fifteen minute drive to my in-laws' house. And no longer am I wondering what to do with her to keep her entertained while she's awake. I felt confident and calm these past two days of being a pretend single mother... it's a far cry from wanting to curl into a ball in a corner every time she needed to eat out of fear that she'd have a brady and I wouldn't be able to revive her. That's why I'm glad I made this blog. I see how far I've come. I vividly remember the days of colic and the completely sleepless nights. Of waking up to the sound of her alarm going off while hubby fed her in the middle of the night and feeling paralyzed until it stopped beeping. And here I am now, giggling and playing with my sweet little girl and standing next to her crib while she drifts off to sleep while staring at me.
It reminds me of a training I attended on Reactive Attachment Disorder, in which the trainer referred to the mother as being the "supreme goddess" of the baby's universe. The basis of that saying is that, in the early months of a baby's life, the baby needs to know that mommy will drop everything at any time of the day or night to fulfill the baby's needs. Diaper, food, cuddling... anything. It builds a trusting relationship and a happy baby. It stems from the "attachment parenting" philosophy. I don't subscribe to everything in that philosophy. Namely co-sleeping. I think I fall somewhere between attachment parenting and parent-directed feeding schedules. I take her cues and let her tell me when she's hungry or needs something, but I also ensure that she sleeps in her crib at night and is able to soothe herself to sleep at times. I try to keep a good balance but I make sure that it's always about what is best for her. Not me. Yes, I still get up twice per night to feed her and it can get exhausting. But I just go to bed earlier in the evening (except tonight! aaaahhhhh I need to go to bed!!!) so I can get some sort of sleep. These days will pass eventually and I will get a full night of uninterrupted sleep again at some point. Maybe in another 18 years, but it will happen. Hah! But seriously... I'm happy, baby's happy, hubby's happy. My puppy may be happy too... poor thing. She used to be the center of the universe, and now she's not. I try to make it up to her by sacrificing my foot room in bed so she can have her very own pillow to lay on. She likes it, and I like to think that it somehow makes up for the decrease in attention she gets.
Alright. Now I'm rambling. Time to face-plant into bed.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
Milestones
I just realized I have a six pack of Woodchuck Granny Smith Hard Cider in the fridge. Commence enjoyment.
Tomorrow is World Prematurity Day! AND- the March of Dimes petition to light the White House with purple lights for preemies on 1/3/13 has all of the signatures it needed. Woohoo! I've put more thought into gathering a team to do a prematurity walk and I'm definitely going to do it. There are plenty of people who have expressed interest and I would love to give back to the organizations that helped save my daughter's life.
Onto the Emma stuff:
She amazes me every day. I watch her in awe as she learns new (and usually major) things and it's clear that she's really picking up on her surroundings. We had our first "conversation" the other night while she was taking a bath- she looked up at me and smiled, so I smiled back and made a little noise at her. She grinned from ear to ear, raised up her head a little, and made a noise back. We went back and forth like this about five times and she was so tickled by the whole thing. And last night, the little goofball started splashing like a crazy fool in her bath, then looked up at me and noticed that I was smiling and laughing. So she smiled and laughed, then splashed some more. She paused, saw me laughing again, and splashed again. I do believe that my little Emma intentionally made me laugh for the first time ever! She's also rapidly learning how to grasp onto things. If you put something in or near her hand, she'll grab onto it and bring it to her mouth. She loves trying to catch her toys on her playmat as they swing or try to slowly raise her hand to grab onto them. The problem is that she still doesn't have complete control over her movements, so she sometimes ends up throwing things unintentionally or punching her toys when she's trying to grab them. Case in point: this morning, my mom put a little plush rattle in Emma's hand and she grasped it. Her arm jerked and her fingers let go, and she ended up throwing the rattle directly into her face. Her poor face.
Seriously. Her poor face. In addition to poking out her eyeballs constantly, she still scratches herself and sometimes draws blood in doing so. And because of how handsy she is now, she also has a tendency to punch herself and now apparently throw things at her face. Never her chest. Always her face.
Emma's 4 month well-child visit was on 11-13 and it went so well. She weighed 13 pounds 4oz- her growth has slowed but she's still catching up to her actual age standards and is now in the 39th percentile for weight! She's still short and fat though ;) She is meeting all of her milestones too and the doctor and nurse were so happy with her progress. She got her shots, and the poor thing tensed up right when she got the first one and started bleeding from it. The second shot was the worst, and she started wailing. That nurse is so quick on the draw, though, and had her all cleaned up with band-aids on in a flash, so that mommy could pick up the baby and cuddle her until she stopped crying. It didn't take long. I asked her what was up with the dramatics coming from the baby that didn't make a peep when her PICC line was removed in the NICU. lol. I hate when she cries like that though, but I'm glad I can soothe her. She's starting to really snuggle into my chest when she's looking for comfort and it's so cute. Sad, but cute.
This morning went down in the record books for most vomit at the worst time. Hubby fed her around 3:00am so I could finally get some sleep. The night before, I was up every hour putting a pacifier in Emma's mouth and patting her until she calmed down because, for some reason, she wasn't able to soothe herself back to sleep when she would awaken between sleep cycles. She usually does that once or twice per night, but the other night was awful. Anyways, hubby came back to bed but heard the little one fussing, so he attempted to give her a pacifier. In the process, Emma was moving all around and ended up gagging on her pacifier (which isn't uncommon for her) and projectile vomited everywhere. And I truly mean everywhere. The carpet in front of her crib was soaked, her sheet was soaked, she was soaked, her crib had vomit all over it. It was a complete mess. I got up to help with the clean up effort and, of course, Emma was just as happy as can be. In fact, she was pretty darned excited and ready to play. I fed her a little more to replace what she had lost, but she was in no way ready for bed. Actually, she wasn't ready for bed when I put her to bed earlier in the night, but she was able to entertain herself to sleep. Hubby went back to bed while I re-fed her, but because she was so rowdy and restless, I ended up setting up camp on the couch so I could shut the bedroom door so hubby could sleep and I could still hear her if she got upset. Wouldn't you figure, I finally get comfy on the couch and she quiets down and goes right to sleep. And by that point, I was so comfy and warm that I didn't feel like getting up and getting into my cold bed, so I just stayed on the couch. I did discover that one of our couch blankets is seriously the most warm and comfy thing I've ever experienced. I'm really contemplating bringing this thing to bed with me every night. If it was so awesome that I chose to stay on the couch vs. sinking back into the Tempurpedic foam, then it's obviously amazing. I'm actually cuddled with it right now ;)
Things are pretty status quo around here. I've sunken into my role as a mommy and feel mostly in control of things again. But I have to say- I am so glad we have our Snuza Halo. It's the breathing/movement monitor that clips onto her diaper while she sleeps. I never worry about her at night because I know that if something happened, the alarm would go off. So if I happen to wake up at 5am and realize she hasn't woken up yet, it's no big deal. I know she's fine! It's priceless peace of mind for someone who's so nutso about SIDS.
Ok, fine. Now for the part you care about most. Pictures.
Tomorrow is World Prematurity Day! AND- the March of Dimes petition to light the White House with purple lights for preemies on 1/3/13 has all of the signatures it needed. Woohoo! I've put more thought into gathering a team to do a prematurity walk and I'm definitely going to do it. There are plenty of people who have expressed interest and I would love to give back to the organizations that helped save my daughter's life.
Onto the Emma stuff:
She amazes me every day. I watch her in awe as she learns new (and usually major) things and it's clear that she's really picking up on her surroundings. We had our first "conversation" the other night while she was taking a bath- she looked up at me and smiled, so I smiled back and made a little noise at her. She grinned from ear to ear, raised up her head a little, and made a noise back. We went back and forth like this about five times and she was so tickled by the whole thing. And last night, the little goofball started splashing like a crazy fool in her bath, then looked up at me and noticed that I was smiling and laughing. So she smiled and laughed, then splashed some more. She paused, saw me laughing again, and splashed again. I do believe that my little Emma intentionally made me laugh for the first time ever! She's also rapidly learning how to grasp onto things. If you put something in or near her hand, she'll grab onto it and bring it to her mouth. She loves trying to catch her toys on her playmat as they swing or try to slowly raise her hand to grab onto them. The problem is that she still doesn't have complete control over her movements, so she sometimes ends up throwing things unintentionally or punching her toys when she's trying to grab them. Case in point: this morning, my mom put a little plush rattle in Emma's hand and she grasped it. Her arm jerked and her fingers let go, and she ended up throwing the rattle directly into her face. Her poor face.
Seriously. Her poor face. In addition to poking out her eyeballs constantly, she still scratches herself and sometimes draws blood in doing so. And because of how handsy she is now, she also has a tendency to punch herself and now apparently throw things at her face. Never her chest. Always her face.
Emma's 4 month well-child visit was on 11-13 and it went so well. She weighed 13 pounds 4oz- her growth has slowed but she's still catching up to her actual age standards and is now in the 39th percentile for weight! She's still short and fat though ;) She is meeting all of her milestones too and the doctor and nurse were so happy with her progress. She got her shots, and the poor thing tensed up right when she got the first one and started bleeding from it. The second shot was the worst, and she started wailing. That nurse is so quick on the draw, though, and had her all cleaned up with band-aids on in a flash, so that mommy could pick up the baby and cuddle her until she stopped crying. It didn't take long. I asked her what was up with the dramatics coming from the baby that didn't make a peep when her PICC line was removed in the NICU. lol. I hate when she cries like that though, but I'm glad I can soothe her. She's starting to really snuggle into my chest when she's looking for comfort and it's so cute. Sad, but cute.
This morning went down in the record books for most vomit at the worst time. Hubby fed her around 3:00am so I could finally get some sleep. The night before, I was up every hour putting a pacifier in Emma's mouth and patting her until she calmed down because, for some reason, she wasn't able to soothe herself back to sleep when she would awaken between sleep cycles. She usually does that once or twice per night, but the other night was awful. Anyways, hubby came back to bed but heard the little one fussing, so he attempted to give her a pacifier. In the process, Emma was moving all around and ended up gagging on her pacifier (which isn't uncommon for her) and projectile vomited everywhere. And I truly mean everywhere. The carpet in front of her crib was soaked, her sheet was soaked, she was soaked, her crib had vomit all over it. It was a complete mess. I got up to help with the clean up effort and, of course, Emma was just as happy as can be. In fact, she was pretty darned excited and ready to play. I fed her a little more to replace what she had lost, but she was in no way ready for bed. Actually, she wasn't ready for bed when I put her to bed earlier in the night, but she was able to entertain herself to sleep. Hubby went back to bed while I re-fed her, but because she was so rowdy and restless, I ended up setting up camp on the couch so I could shut the bedroom door so hubby could sleep and I could still hear her if she got upset. Wouldn't you figure, I finally get comfy on the couch and she quiets down and goes right to sleep. And by that point, I was so comfy and warm that I didn't feel like getting up and getting into my cold bed, so I just stayed on the couch. I did discover that one of our couch blankets is seriously the most warm and comfy thing I've ever experienced. I'm really contemplating bringing this thing to bed with me every night. If it was so awesome that I chose to stay on the couch vs. sinking back into the Tempurpedic foam, then it's obviously amazing. I'm actually cuddled with it right now ;)
Things are pretty status quo around here. I've sunken into my role as a mommy and feel mostly in control of things again. But I have to say- I am so glad we have our Snuza Halo. It's the breathing/movement monitor that clips onto her diaper while she sleeps. I never worry about her at night because I know that if something happened, the alarm would go off. So if I happen to wake up at 5am and realize she hasn't woken up yet, it's no big deal. I know she's fine! It's priceless peace of mind for someone who's so nutso about SIDS.
Ok, fine. Now for the part you care about most. Pictures.
I put her in her jumper on 11-11 for the first time ever and the result was serious cuteness. I imagine one of these will be grandpa's new computer background ;)
Just hanging out.
"Staring contest. Ready... Go."
Apparently her arm tastes good?
"Go home, ducky. You're drunk."
OMG. Too many things to love about this!
4 month photos with the fabulous Miss Stephanie!
Bahahaha! She was so sleepy the day after her shots that she couldn't wake up!
I wish I woke up smiling like this every day.
This was right after she drooled all over my hand.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Feet are for Kicking
This coming Saturday, November 17, is World Prematurity Day (also the adoption picnic for my county!). November happens to be national adoption month AND prematurity awareness month. Two things that are very near and dear to my heart! I've mentioned before that I'm an adoption case manager... and I think this blog makes it quite obvious why I care so much about prematurity.
To avoid being yelled at, here are some pictures of the monster baby.
Here are some quick facts, from the March of Dimes website: 15 million babies are born too early each year and 1.1 million babies die. Yep- more than one million babies. That's a staggering number, and Emma could have easily been one of those babies, which is a very sobering thought for me. Had it not been for the fact that I had chronic hypertension prior to getting pregnant, Emma would probably have been born earlier than she was, and as early as 28 weeks. And at that point, she was less than 3 pounds in weight and her lungs were definitely not ready to work on their own without a ventilator. We're so blessed that, while she's one of the 15 million, she wasn't one of the 1.1 million. Things could have been so much worse if Emma wasn't such a strong, healthy little ninja. So for all of you who know me in real life, you definitely know at least one person affected by premature birth. You know my story- the four weeks of hospital bed rest, the three weeks of NICU hell. But in the end, we have a happy, healthy, feisty little baby to cuddle and love. So many families aren't as fortunate. It breaks my heart to hear stories of loss...
I'm really hoping to be able to participate in a March of Dimes event in the near future. It's because of their fundraising that there are so many good medical advances for premature birth. The kind of technology used in Emma's NICU was mind-blowing and we were so fortunate that we had access to that kind of care. Premature birth is very expensive- Emma's hospital stay cost around $150,000 and she was mostly healthy- she didn't require any surgeries, the ventilator, etc. But had it not been for the discovery of betamethasone shots and their affect on fetal lung development, Emma could have easily required the vent. These breakthroughs have saved countless lives.
So if anyone wants to join me in a March of Dimes event, let me know! I'd love to put together a team at some point for one of their walks... we can all be Emma's team. I know so many of you prayed for Emma and I during my hospital stay and hers, and I think it would be awesome to get everyone together to raise some money for other babies like Emma. And Emma will come too, and being the little celebrity she is, I know people like to see her ;) Who knows, by the time the next walk comes around, Emma will probably be jogging on her own. She's pretty incredible like that.
Alright, PSA complete. Onto the Emma monster and the mommy stuff, although I know you mostly care about the monster. But so do I, so we have that in common ;)
Naptime. Ugh. She is still having difficulty staying asleep in her crib. Sometimes she'll do alright, but for the most part she greatly prefers her swing for naps. I feel like doing one of those victory laps when I'm able to get her to sleep for more than 15 minutes in her crib during the day. My mom, however, can get her to nap for much longer than that. I've done lots of research, as is typical 90210 fashion, and found that it's quite common for babies to have issues sleeping in their cribs during the day. We've darkened her room with a blackout shade but that hasn't appeared to have helped tremendously. The next step is buying a crib soother- I'm already eyeing a few on Amazon. After that? Who knows. Nap Nanny? Standing on our heads? I'll try anything... because she's eventually going to grow out of her swing.
Swing= happy Emma. A big thanks to her "future in-laws" :)
This "preemie" is huge. She has her 4-month well-child exam on 11/13 and I'm curious, as always, to see how big she really is. I think I just need to buy myself a bathroom scale so I don't have to impatiently await doctor's appointments to find out if she really is as fat as I think she is. Fat is cute on a babies though, and I make sure to tell her that after I tell her how fat she is. I don't want her trying to diet or anything. hahaha... I officially packed up her 3 month clothes and moved all of her 3-6 and 6 month sizes into the higher drawers in her dresser. She's also in her size two diapers.
Speaking of diapers. I hate Huggies. Actually, I despise them with every fiber of my motherhood. Emma was in Huggies in the NICU, so we bought a box of newborn size diapers after she came home because we figured they were fine- she didn't have any diaper rash issues in the NICU and they seemed to work just fine. They also weren't too expensive either. It wasn't long before she started peeing right out of them and causing frequent clothing changes, for Emma and whoever happened to be unfortunate enough to be holding her at the time. That got old very quickly. So we switched to Pampers Swaddlers... the gold standard of diapers. Sure, they're more expensive. But my God, they work. Emma has never leaked out of a Swaddlers diaper, and she has had some enormous pee-filled diapers. She doesn't even get close to rashy, because they suck up so much pee that her little bum is still completely dry. I love them, I really do.
So now that we've moved on to her size 2's, it's back to Huggies as we have two boxes of them in her closet. I hoped things would be different now that she's in a bigger size but WRONG. She still pees out of them. She's done it to my mom a few times. Poor grandma. And then yesterday... ugh. I was holding her after I fed her and smelled that all-too-familiar scent of a soiled diaper. Luckily, I had her sitting up in my lap with my hand supporting her upper back. I gave her a few minutes to make sure she was, ahem, done, and then plopped her on her changing pad. I'll spare you the yucky details, but I'll just say this- there was a poo eruption out of the top of her diaper and I didn't realize it until after it smeared up her back and got all over her (super cute) onesie. And this wasn't a monumental sized poo either. Grrrrrrr.
That was the second of her cute onesies that fell victim to being worn by a baby. She has a limited supply of long-sleeved onesies, which has been what I put her in for bed at night along with a SwaddleMe. The other night, most of them were waiting to be washed and I only had a few to choose from- a cute white "mommy's cupcake" one, one with lots of (probably itchy) embroidery on the front, her awesome one with a gold leopard bow printed on the front, and a pink one with ruffles on the front and snaps in the back (pain in the ass at night). I elected the white cupcake one, despite it being one that I wanted to save for her to wear when we go somewhere. But I thought... what's the worst that could happen while she's sleeping? Vomit? That's what OxiClean Free is for! Well, what could happen is this (and I'm sure it's not even the worst that could happen): Emma could rub the scab off of her face that formed after she scratched herself under her eye (THE RIGHT EYE AGAIN!), and then rub the sleeve of her adorable white onesie all in the blood coming from the scratch. Awesome. And then the cute pink ruffled onesie fell victim to the Huggies blowout. I guess Emma is trying to remind me that I shouldn't care so much about her clothes. But, ugh. Baby girl clothes are so stinking cute.
We got a big shipment of Carter's clothes in the mail this week from an online shopping spree I engaged in last weekend. She got a ton of cute outfits that will hopefully last her for a while. I sincerely hope she stops growing at this rate soon, or else she'll be in 12 month sizes in no time. Seriously. It's preposterous. But, without intending to, I picked out two really adorable wintery outfits that are going to be perfect for some Christmas photos. Yay! And we also have a photo shoot scheduled for 11/13 after her doctor's appointment with the fabulous angel-on-earth of a photographer who took her newborn pictures. I seriously can't wait...
In other news, this was my final week of being on-call in my current job, with today being my final day of it. Since on-call rotates between five people, it means I'm usually on-call for a whole week every fifth week. Not that we get many calls, but it's very restricting as I don't like to go out anywhere if I'm on-call. Obviously I don't have an engaging social life right now, but it's nice to feel like I can actually go somewhere without worrying about the phone ringing. I'm much more likely to have calls in my new job, but at least I'll have the phone for shorter periods of time and less often to boot.
Nothing much has really changed otherwise. Although it's amazing to see how things change week-to-week with Emma. She had one week of sleeping all night, and now she's back to having a middle-of-the-night bottle, which is still a big improvement from being up every 2-3 hours on the dot for a bottle or to nurse. That was exhausting. She had also been doing great about a bedtime routine around the same time every night- we were usually able to start her routine anytime between 8:30 and 9pm. Now it's all over the place because her schedule during the day has been erratic. Hopefully she settles into a nice routine soon, for everyone's sake. I experimented a bit tonight and did her routine at 7pm, which is much earlier than normal for her. But she was ready to eat, so I figured it didn't make sense to try to feed her and wait until 10pm, her probable next feed, to put her to bed. So we'll see how long she sleeps before she gets up for another bottle. It could be in 30 minutes, it could be in a few hours.
Her recent big accomplishment has been discovering her feet. She can now willingly kick something with her feet, but it requires an incredible amount of concentration, which is seriously adorable. She stares intently as her little foot slowly kicks whatever is near it. The other night, I put my hand near her feet during her bath and she would kick my hand, then try to curl her toes and feel my fingers as her foot slid down my hand. She was so happy with herself over it. And today, hubby lifted up her feet while she was lying down on the floor and she looked at them and seemingly recognized them, as she kicked her foot straight up in the air and watched it move. They're like brand new toys that are attached to her!
I'm really hoping to be able to participate in a March of Dimes event in the near future. It's because of their fundraising that there are so many good medical advances for premature birth. The kind of technology used in Emma's NICU was mind-blowing and we were so fortunate that we had access to that kind of care. Premature birth is very expensive- Emma's hospital stay cost around $150,000 and she was mostly healthy- she didn't require any surgeries, the ventilator, etc. But had it not been for the discovery of betamethasone shots and their affect on fetal lung development, Emma could have easily required the vent. These breakthroughs have saved countless lives.
So if anyone wants to join me in a March of Dimes event, let me know! I'd love to put together a team at some point for one of their walks... we can all be Emma's team. I know so many of you prayed for Emma and I during my hospital stay and hers, and I think it would be awesome to get everyone together to raise some money for other babies like Emma. And Emma will come too, and being the little celebrity she is, I know people like to see her ;) Who knows, by the time the next walk comes around, Emma will probably be jogging on her own. She's pretty incredible like that.
Alright, PSA complete. Onto the Emma monster and the mommy stuff, although I know you mostly care about the monster. But so do I, so we have that in common ;)
Naptime. Ugh. She is still having difficulty staying asleep in her crib. Sometimes she'll do alright, but for the most part she greatly prefers her swing for naps. I feel like doing one of those victory laps when I'm able to get her to sleep for more than 15 minutes in her crib during the day. My mom, however, can get her to nap for much longer than that. I've done lots of research, as is typical 90210 fashion, and found that it's quite common for babies to have issues sleeping in their cribs during the day. We've darkened her room with a blackout shade but that hasn't appeared to have helped tremendously. The next step is buying a crib soother- I'm already eyeing a few on Amazon. After that? Who knows. Nap Nanny? Standing on our heads? I'll try anything... because she's eventually going to grow out of her swing.
Swing= happy Emma. A big thanks to her "future in-laws" :)
This "preemie" is huge. She has her 4-month well-child exam on 11/13 and I'm curious, as always, to see how big she really is. I think I just need to buy myself a bathroom scale so I don't have to impatiently await doctor's appointments to find out if she really is as fat as I think she is. Fat is cute on a babies though, and I make sure to tell her that after I tell her how fat she is. I don't want her trying to diet or anything. hahaha... I officially packed up her 3 month clothes and moved all of her 3-6 and 6 month sizes into the higher drawers in her dresser. She's also in her size two diapers.
Speaking of diapers. I hate Huggies. Actually, I despise them with every fiber of my motherhood. Emma was in Huggies in the NICU, so we bought a box of newborn size diapers after she came home because we figured they were fine- she didn't have any diaper rash issues in the NICU and they seemed to work just fine. They also weren't too expensive either. It wasn't long before she started peeing right out of them and causing frequent clothing changes, for Emma and whoever happened to be unfortunate enough to be holding her at the time. That got old very quickly. So we switched to Pampers Swaddlers... the gold standard of diapers. Sure, they're more expensive. But my God, they work. Emma has never leaked out of a Swaddlers diaper, and she has had some enormous pee-filled diapers. She doesn't even get close to rashy, because they suck up so much pee that her little bum is still completely dry. I love them, I really do.
So now that we've moved on to her size 2's, it's back to Huggies as we have two boxes of them in her closet. I hoped things would be different now that she's in a bigger size but WRONG. She still pees out of them. She's done it to my mom a few times. Poor grandma. And then yesterday... ugh. I was holding her after I fed her and smelled that all-too-familiar scent of a soiled diaper. Luckily, I had her sitting up in my lap with my hand supporting her upper back. I gave her a few minutes to make sure she was, ahem, done, and then plopped her on her changing pad. I'll spare you the yucky details, but I'll just say this- there was a poo eruption out of the top of her diaper and I didn't realize it until after it smeared up her back and got all over her (super cute) onesie. And this wasn't a monumental sized poo either. Grrrrrrr.
That was the second of her cute onesies that fell victim to being worn by a baby. She has a limited supply of long-sleeved onesies, which has been what I put her in for bed at night along with a SwaddleMe. The other night, most of them were waiting to be washed and I only had a few to choose from- a cute white "mommy's cupcake" one, one with lots of (probably itchy) embroidery on the front, her awesome one with a gold leopard bow printed on the front, and a pink one with ruffles on the front and snaps in the back (pain in the ass at night). I elected the white cupcake one, despite it being one that I wanted to save for her to wear when we go somewhere. But I thought... what's the worst that could happen while she's sleeping? Vomit? That's what OxiClean Free is for! Well, what could happen is this (and I'm sure it's not even the worst that could happen): Emma could rub the scab off of her face that formed after she scratched herself under her eye (THE RIGHT EYE AGAIN!), and then rub the sleeve of her adorable white onesie all in the blood coming from the scratch. Awesome. And then the cute pink ruffled onesie fell victim to the Huggies blowout. I guess Emma is trying to remind me that I shouldn't care so much about her clothes. But, ugh. Baby girl clothes are so stinking cute.
We got a big shipment of Carter's clothes in the mail this week from an online shopping spree I engaged in last weekend. She got a ton of cute outfits that will hopefully last her for a while. I sincerely hope she stops growing at this rate soon, or else she'll be in 12 month sizes in no time. Seriously. It's preposterous. But, without intending to, I picked out two really adorable wintery outfits that are going to be perfect for some Christmas photos. Yay! And we also have a photo shoot scheduled for 11/13 after her doctor's appointment with the fabulous angel-on-earth of a photographer who took her newborn pictures. I seriously can't wait...
In other news, this was my final week of being on-call in my current job, with today being my final day of it. Since on-call rotates between five people, it means I'm usually on-call for a whole week every fifth week. Not that we get many calls, but it's very restricting as I don't like to go out anywhere if I'm on-call. Obviously I don't have an engaging social life right now, but it's nice to feel like I can actually go somewhere without worrying about the phone ringing. I'm much more likely to have calls in my new job, but at least I'll have the phone for shorter periods of time and less often to boot.
Nothing much has really changed otherwise. Although it's amazing to see how things change week-to-week with Emma. She had one week of sleeping all night, and now she's back to having a middle-of-the-night bottle, which is still a big improvement from being up every 2-3 hours on the dot for a bottle or to nurse. That was exhausting. She had also been doing great about a bedtime routine around the same time every night- we were usually able to start her routine anytime between 8:30 and 9pm. Now it's all over the place because her schedule during the day has been erratic. Hopefully she settles into a nice routine soon, for everyone's sake. I experimented a bit tonight and did her routine at 7pm, which is much earlier than normal for her. But she was ready to eat, so I figured it didn't make sense to try to feed her and wait until 10pm, her probable next feed, to put her to bed. So we'll see how long she sleeps before she gets up for another bottle. It could be in 30 minutes, it could be in a few hours.
Her recent big accomplishment has been discovering her feet. She can now willingly kick something with her feet, but it requires an incredible amount of concentration, which is seriously adorable. She stares intently as her little foot slowly kicks whatever is near it. The other night, I put my hand near her feet during her bath and she would kick my hand, then try to curl her toes and feel my fingers as her foot slid down my hand. She was so happy with herself over it. And today, hubby lifted up her feet while she was lying down on the floor and she looked at them and seemingly recognized them, as she kicked her foot straight up in the air and watched it move. They're like brand new toys that are attached to her!
To avoid being yelled at, here are some pictures of the monster baby.
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| She always looks so surprised. |
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| This playmat will forever amuse her. |
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| Mommy and baby! |
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| 11-9-12. 4 months old! |
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| Glamor Shots. |
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| This is what happens when she's been sucking on her pacifier. |
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| Showing off her big girl kicking skills! She loves this ball. |
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Emma's First Halloween
Wanna know what my life has come to? Hubby decided to give Emma her bedtime bottle and get her into bed tonight, and I warned him that she has been a very angry bedtime baby for the last week. I told him he'd probably end up needing to hold her for about 15-20 minutes while she cried, fussed, and kicked, and then he'd have to put her in her crib with her paci and keep putting it back in her mouth until she calmed down to the point where she could put herself to sleep. Wouldn't you figure- she was nice and calm for him. He walked out into the hallway and I asked if she was in bed and he said yes, but he thought she pooped and couldn't tell. So he wanted me to come do a sniff test before he got her up out of her crib and woke her up. Yep. That's my life- awkwardly leaning over the front rail of the crib (I'm super short. So I'm considering investing in a stool, especially for when we have to lower her mattress) and sticking my nose as close to her bum as I can to see if my kid smells farty or poopy. And sure enough- the one night that she goes to bed calmly and quietly, she poops... so hubby had to get her up and change her diaper. Hmph.
Not a whole lot has changed over the last few days. Emma is still a happy, crazy little baby. She had a doctor's appointment on 11/1 and her eye is completely healed, so no more antibiotic drops. Not that they were a big deal, because she would frequently smile after I put a drop in her eye. She's seriously a weirdo like that.
So while not much has changed over the last few days, I'm constantly reminded of how much has changed in such a short amount of time. It was just three months and two days ago that she came home from the NICU and both hubby and I were excited and terrified at the concept of having a five-pound preemie on a cardiorespiratory monitor to care for around the clock with no nurses to swoop in when things got hairy. The stress of it all was crushing and I had many days when I wasn't quite sure I'd make it out in one piece- I was certain I'd lose my mind in the least. I was also completely overwhelmed with new motherhood, on top of having major issues with breastfeeding and dealing with repeated "Apparent Life-Threatening Events" with almost every feed. I did a little internet research recently on SIDS and was reading about apnea, and found out that the bradys she was having fell into that category. I mean, it was obvious that the events put her on the brink of no return, but it's still scary to think about it. Anyways. Within the last few weeks, I've really settled into my role as a mommy and adjusted to the routine. I've accepted the fact that I'll get very little accomplished in my "free time" and that it's ok. Some things can just wait. AND. I'm getting more sleep. That always helps... so add all of this up, and you have a much happier mommy.
Oh, and I'm transferring back "home" at work. This was the "stress" reference of a previous post- I'm trading stress for stress. But a different kind of stress- a higher workload. Much higher. But less driving, more opportunity for advancement, and some pretty awesome coworkers. I think it'll be a good change... but I'll kind of miss the scenic area I work in now. I grew up in a part of Florida with zero elevation change, and where I work now has some beautiful rolling hills and lots of pastures and open land. Oh well. I can always visit.
I mentioned I'm getting more sleep. Hallelujah. Over this past week, Emma has dropped her middle-of-the-night feed. She suddenly started sleeping longer and getting up around 1:30-3:00am for a bottle, then again around 5 or 6. But for the past few nights, she's been sleeping for longer and longer stretches. In fact, she was asleep in bed by 10:30 last night (she was actually in bed around 9:30 but fussed off and on for about an hour) and woke up at 5:30am. I usually give her a few minutes after the first grunt to make sure she's really awake, but this time she went right back to sleep and slept until 6am. Seven and a half hours of sleep. Straight. OMG. I actually went to bed at about the time she fell asleep, so we both got some good sleep last night. Hubby let me sleep in, so I caught up on some much needed slumber. I'm trying not to get too used to this though, as I know she can easily enter another growth spurt and start waking in the middle of the night to feed again. But I realized that an interrupted sleep has become the norm for me (part of that adjustment thing)... I've had plenty of days when I've thought "why the heck am I so tired? I got seven hours of sleep last night..." and then I realized "oh wait. I still had to be up to feed her in the middle of the night." I forget that, despite getting an adequate quantity of sleep, the quality hasn't been great. For about a week, I was having to get up when she'd start to fuss to give her the pacifier so she'd sleep for another hour before getting up to feed (I give her the paci when she's fussy and hungry so she doesn't get too worked up while I get her bottle ready. But after a few nights of returning to the nursery to find a fully asleep baby, I decided it was worth my time to get up and give her the paci and wait to see if she fell back asleep, which she usually does), then get up an hour later to feed her. This would usually happen twice before it was mommy's wake-up time. So my sleep quality has been lacking.
What I wouldn't give for about 10-12 hours of completely uninterrupted sleep. That's what I want for Christmas- a night in a hotel room ;) I'm just kidding- I really don't want to spend a night away from her. Even in the middle of the night, I have to refrain from squeezing the living daylights out of her because I just love her so much and want to cuddle and squish her. She's very squishy. And so cute.
Emma's first Halloween was great! We didn't put her in a costume, as Halloween in Florida is typically very warm. And baby costumes are generally made for colder climates. I just couldn't see spending money on a costume that she could only wear for pictures because she'd be roasting in it otherwise. And of course, thanks to hurricane Sandy, it was nice and nippy on Halloween. But her Great Gramma Betty sent an adorable little Halloween outfit for her, which we paired with her pumpkin hat from her Great Aunt Linda. Halloween in my neighborhood is pretty big business- most of the people sit in their driveways and hand out candy and mobs (literally mobs) of children make their way around. We also have a few Sheriff deputies that patrol with their lights on for safety. It's pretty awesome- The kids have a great time and it's a very safe neighborhood, so it's just a good night all-around. This year, we sat out in the driveway with Emma, who was surprisingly interested in what was going on. She got fussy when it was time to eat, but was otherwise content to look at all of her "friends" who came to get candy. We also (finally) met some of the neighbors and had a chat about things. They are very nice people... I love our neighborhood! With the exception of the weed-whacking neighbors, but that's another story for another day. Emma ended up falling asleep in my arms towards the end, and the mobs of children scampered back into their own homes just in time for Emma's bath (and just in time for us to run out of candy, even the reserves I put off to the side for hubby and I to eat).
Photosforyou.
Not a whole lot has changed over the last few days. Emma is still a happy, crazy little baby. She had a doctor's appointment on 11/1 and her eye is completely healed, so no more antibiotic drops. Not that they were a big deal, because she would frequently smile after I put a drop in her eye. She's seriously a weirdo like that.
So while not much has changed over the last few days, I'm constantly reminded of how much has changed in such a short amount of time. It was just three months and two days ago that she came home from the NICU and both hubby and I were excited and terrified at the concept of having a five-pound preemie on a cardiorespiratory monitor to care for around the clock with no nurses to swoop in when things got hairy. The stress of it all was crushing and I had many days when I wasn't quite sure I'd make it out in one piece- I was certain I'd lose my mind in the least. I was also completely overwhelmed with new motherhood, on top of having major issues with breastfeeding and dealing with repeated "Apparent Life-Threatening Events" with almost every feed. I did a little internet research recently on SIDS and was reading about apnea, and found out that the bradys she was having fell into that category. I mean, it was obvious that the events put her on the brink of no return, but it's still scary to think about it. Anyways. Within the last few weeks, I've really settled into my role as a mommy and adjusted to the routine. I've accepted the fact that I'll get very little accomplished in my "free time" and that it's ok. Some things can just wait. AND. I'm getting more sleep. That always helps... so add all of this up, and you have a much happier mommy.
Oh, and I'm transferring back "home" at work. This was the "stress" reference of a previous post- I'm trading stress for stress. But a different kind of stress- a higher workload. Much higher. But less driving, more opportunity for advancement, and some pretty awesome coworkers. I think it'll be a good change... but I'll kind of miss the scenic area I work in now. I grew up in a part of Florida with zero elevation change, and where I work now has some beautiful rolling hills and lots of pastures and open land. Oh well. I can always visit.
I mentioned I'm getting more sleep. Hallelujah. Over this past week, Emma has dropped her middle-of-the-night feed. She suddenly started sleeping longer and getting up around 1:30-3:00am for a bottle, then again around 5 or 6. But for the past few nights, she's been sleeping for longer and longer stretches. In fact, she was asleep in bed by 10:30 last night (she was actually in bed around 9:30 but fussed off and on for about an hour) and woke up at 5:30am. I usually give her a few minutes after the first grunt to make sure she's really awake, but this time she went right back to sleep and slept until 6am. Seven and a half hours of sleep. Straight. OMG. I actually went to bed at about the time she fell asleep, so we both got some good sleep last night. Hubby let me sleep in, so I caught up on some much needed slumber. I'm trying not to get too used to this though, as I know she can easily enter another growth spurt and start waking in the middle of the night to feed again. But I realized that an interrupted sleep has become the norm for me (part of that adjustment thing)... I've had plenty of days when I've thought "why the heck am I so tired? I got seven hours of sleep last night..." and then I realized "oh wait. I still had to be up to feed her in the middle of the night." I forget that, despite getting an adequate quantity of sleep, the quality hasn't been great. For about a week, I was having to get up when she'd start to fuss to give her the pacifier so she'd sleep for another hour before getting up to feed (I give her the paci when she's fussy and hungry so she doesn't get too worked up while I get her bottle ready. But after a few nights of returning to the nursery to find a fully asleep baby, I decided it was worth my time to get up and give her the paci and wait to see if she fell back asleep, which she usually does), then get up an hour later to feed her. This would usually happen twice before it was mommy's wake-up time. So my sleep quality has been lacking.
What I wouldn't give for about 10-12 hours of completely uninterrupted sleep. That's what I want for Christmas- a night in a hotel room ;) I'm just kidding- I really don't want to spend a night away from her. Even in the middle of the night, I have to refrain from squeezing the living daylights out of her because I just love her so much and want to cuddle and squish her. She's very squishy. And so cute.
Emma's first Halloween was great! We didn't put her in a costume, as Halloween in Florida is typically very warm. And baby costumes are generally made for colder climates. I just couldn't see spending money on a costume that she could only wear for pictures because she'd be roasting in it otherwise. And of course, thanks to hurricane Sandy, it was nice and nippy on Halloween. But her Great Gramma Betty sent an adorable little Halloween outfit for her, which we paired with her pumpkin hat from her Great Aunt Linda. Halloween in my neighborhood is pretty big business- most of the people sit in their driveways and hand out candy and mobs (literally mobs) of children make their way around. We also have a few Sheriff deputies that patrol with their lights on for safety. It's pretty awesome- The kids have a great time and it's a very safe neighborhood, so it's just a good night all-around. This year, we sat out in the driveway with Emma, who was surprisingly interested in what was going on. She got fussy when it was time to eat, but was otherwise content to look at all of her "friends" who came to get candy. We also (finally) met some of the neighbors and had a chat about things. They are very nice people... I love our neighborhood! With the exception of the weed-whacking neighbors, but that's another story for another day. Emma ended up falling asleep in my arms towards the end, and the mobs of children scampered back into their own homes just in time for Emma's bath (and just in time for us to run out of candy, even the reserves I put off to the side for hubby and I to eat).
Photosforyou.
She's so funny when she stretches.
This is her "victory shall be mine" pose
Emma's pumpkin
Hubby has an app on his phone that puts a mustache on a picture. I can't get over how hilarious this is.
Toy slam.
This was her Halloween outfit
Six month jammies!
Sleeping in mommy's arms on 11/3 :)
Alright- I have GOT to get some house cleaning done before these dust bunnies grow legs.
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