Spit Up and Gas. Yes.

I'm so tired, I can't figure out how I'm actually still awake... but I must pump. Pump or die.

• Poor little Emma had a rough night last night, so neither of us got much of any sleep. She had the residual at her 11pm feeding and again at her 2am hands-on and her little tummy was also distended at 2am. She had also continued to spit up throughout that time frame. So the nurse called the ARNP, who ordered an x-ray and discontinued her feeds temporarily. Luckily, the x-ray only showed that she was very gassy and the ARNP wasn't too concerned, but she decided to hold off on continued feeds until the doctor could make a final decision on how to proceed, and let me know that she didn't want to make things worse. The ARNP also told me that sometimes this type of situation can be the very beginning of something much more serious and sinister, such as an infection in her intestines, and continued feeding would only make it worse. She said they have to err on the side of caution in these situations just in case.
• Emma was so fussy all night from all of the gas, which I'm certain made her very uncomfortable. I held her after every hands-on and she was finally able to fall asleep each time, but once I put her back in her crib, she began fussing again. She didn't full-on cry, but she whined and whimpered and it broke my heart because there was nothing I could do. The nurse kept encouraging me to get some sleep, so I tried, but I was so worried about her that I couldn't sleep very well. I held her after her 8am hands on and I finally got her to sleep in her crib with a combination of her pacifier and pressure on her head. The nurse also gave her a bath which seemed to help her fall asleep as well. She did not like that bath (sponge bath) at first but once we started drying her off, she settled right down. She's so cute :) She finally fell sound asleep in her crib around 8:30 and so I attempted to do the same... hubby called around 10:30 to say that he was at the NICU with breakfast for me (trust me, I didn't sleep much in the morning because I had to pump and I also waited for a while to make sure she really was going to stay asleep) so I got up to get dressed. And at that point, housekeeping came in. And I almost lost it...
• Remember how I complained about how noisy housekeeping was when I was on the high-risk OB floor? Apparently they're just as noisy in a NICU room with a baby sleeping in an open-air crib two feet away from them. The darned woman was opening trash bags (where you grab the collapsed bag and shake it in the air to open it up) in the room right next to the crib and slamming around the trash cans. Then when she went to mop, she started slamming more stuff around. I almost lost it when I came out of the bathroom but decided it would be better to not let loose on the housekeeping lady... it's best to just contact the head of that department and voice my concerns when I'm calm. I don't know if it was the momma-bear instinct kicking in or the complete lack of sleep or a combination of both, but I was practically on the verge of a homicidal rampage. Ok, that was obviously a big time hyperbole- I'm not going to kill anyone. But for someone who's normally so even tempered, I was incredibly aggravated after being up all night with my baby and having some woman come in and destroy the peace with a trash bag and a mop. Emma began waking up a little but was able to calm back down so I left to have breakfast. The last thing she needed was my negative vibes around.
• The doctor confirmed the plan- they're going to hold her feeds for a day or two to see how she does. She'll have an x-ray again tomorrow to see what's going on in that tummy and if all is well, they'll cautiously start her feeds again. Otherwise, she's still doing quite well! She has the same nurse tonight that she's had the past two nights. I called for an update and was told that Emma has been doing fine and hasn't been fussy like she was last night and that she was sleeping quietly in her crib. I'm really hoping her x-ray will go well tomorrow! 
• Emma had been wrapped in a pretty receiving blanket and wore her new onesie the other day, but got some sort of bodily fluid all over both of them. We gave her a new blanket and onesie yesterday but she spit up all over the onesie. So I have my first (of many) soiled Emma stuff to wash! Why am I excited about that?!
• I had my baby shower at work today- it was weird to be back after five weeks of being away, but everyone was so sweet and supportive and we had a good time. And we had cake! I like cake.
• Time for pumping and then bed. Emma's Grandma and Grandpa H. are picking me up tomorrow afternoon so we can all go see her pretty little face. :) I can't wait to see her again- every time I hold her, I just stare into her face and I have a really difficult time looking away from her. She's just so perfect and amazing!