Warning: incoming epic blog post. As in Homer-style epic... so buckle up, get comfy, and make sure you have a drink and possibly a snack ready. I wrote novels about boring days spent in the hospital and given the events of the last few days, this post will surely be a hefty one.
7/8/12: So I'll start with Sunday night, because I don't remember much from Sunday morning. I'm pretty sure it was uneventful though and I do recall blogging about how I was feeling quite good about making it to 34 weeks. My memory since being in the hospital has been less-than-stellar. I attempted to do some different things to keep myself occupied: I crocheted a little bit with my pocket knitter and ended up accidentally making a hilarious looking "hat" that was way too big for a Barbie doll and way too small for a baby. I listened to some music while I crocheted, and then I tried to read a little bit. I ordered dinner and while waiting for it, I felt a small gush. Since I was pregnant, I'm assuming you know what I'm getting at. To spare you the details, I started to think my water had broken so I called the nurse to let her know (and of course it was right after shift change). At first, it was a very slow trickle. The nurse busted out some litmus-style strips and tested me and sure enough, the test turned positive for amniotic fluid. She let me know that the test can be falsely positive for a variety of reasons but that she would put call my doctor. I called hubby, who asked if he should come to the hospital but I told him that I would hate for him to drive an hour on a Sunday night because I didn't think anything was going to happen. He insisted and decided to stay overnight. Before he arrived, the OB came in and swabbed me to do an additional test, which was instantly positive for amniotic fluid. She needed no further proof, as the fluid was "pooling" near my cervix.
It was official- my water broke. The OB said they would start me on IV antibiotics for two days followed by five days of oral antibiotics. If I went into labor, they weren't going to try to stop it but would give me the magnesium sulfate (which could possibly have stopped labor) and see what happened. If I didn't go into labor within two weeks, they would induce me at 34 weeks... or more than likely, 34 weeks and one day since I start a new week every Sunday. Hubby asked how much time he would likely have to get to the hospital if I went into labor and he wasn't with me, and the OB said he'd probably have about five hours. She added that babies don't typically "fall out on the bed." I felt confident that nothing was going to happen anytime soon but hubby insisted on staying overnight and calling out from work on Monday. I got very little sleep that night- it's not easy to get restful sleep when it feels like you're peeing yourself off and on all night long. I'm serious, it's awful. And on top of it, I still had to pee every hour or two. I couldn't believe how much fluid was leaking! I swear this kid had her own Olympic-sized swimming pool in there!
7/9/12: Throughout the wee hours of the morning, I felt a few typical contractions: tight with no pain. I tried to get some more sleep, but awoke around 7:45am with a little crampy pain along with a contraction. Although this time, the crampiness was more prominent instead of the tightening sensation. About ten minutes later, I had another crampy contraction. This happened about two more times, each time getting slightly more painful than the last. Around 8:15ish, I woke up hubby and told him I thought I was in labor, although I really didn't even believe it myself. I called for the nurse... again, shortly after shift change. I have awesome timing. By the time the nurse came in, my contractions picked up to every 5-6 minutes and I was wincing from the pain. She said she wanted to get me on the monitor for a bit and would then call the OB.
My contractions started getting more and more painful and the nurse quickly realized that something was going on, so she immediately called the OB. A nurse from labor and delivery came to check my cervix, and I almost jumped off of the bed because it was so uncomfortable and I started contracting right when she did it. She looked at my nurse and said I was 4cm dilated and my cervix was posterior, which she told me was a good thing. I remember thinking "good for what?!" She then told my nurse that I wouldn't be "down there," referring to labor and delivery, for long. She was right.
This is when things began moving quickly. The nurses told hubby to start packing my stuff because I would be transferred to labor and delivery... hubby was a mess because we had accumulated a lot of stuff that needed to come with us and he had to scramble to get it all together, all the while I was getting very painful contractions. He tried asking me if I wanted to save certain things, where I wanted things, where things were stored... and I couldn't answer because I was in some pretty sincere pain. I started to feel like a wimp- I had only been in labor for an hour and I was already having difficulty remembering to breathe through my contractions! Luckily I remembered that I could get an epidural at 4cm, so at least I knew that I shouldn't have had to wait long for relief (which was technically right!). One of the wonderful techs came in and saw me struggling through a contraction so she held my hand and softly told me to breathe. She was so awesome... more on her later. Anyways, all of this really happened very quickly and they tried to get me onto a stretcher to transport me downstairs to labor and delivery, but I started having a bad contraction and felt like I couldn't move. I finally got on the stretcher and away we went... I didn't even get to say a proper goodbye to my "studio apartment" that had been my home for four weeks.
When we got into the elevator, I thought I was going to die. I told hubby I hoped I could get an epidural and he said something along the lines of "of course you can get an epidural- you're already in the hospital." As in, it's not like I was going to get to the hospital too late to get one. I love irony, but not in this form. So I got into the labor and delivery room and by this time, I couldn't handle the pain. I asked about the epidural and they said they already alerted the anesthesiologist so it shouldn't be long. The fact that relief was in sight made me feel better for about 20 seconds before the next contraction came on and I couldn't think about anything other than how absolutely painful it was. I was writhing in pain and my hands subconsciously searched for something to grab onto and rip apart. They found the side rails on the bed, just like you see on TV, and I gripped on for dear life. It didn't make me feel better though, obviously. A nurse checked me and basically said she felt Emma's little head and that they needed to call the OB. Things get a little fuzzy for me at this point because I was in so much pain that I couldn't focus or think straight. I asked for an epidural and they said it was too late... my worst nightmare! I panicked because I was not only not prepared to have a baby yet, but I was not at all, in the teensiest, tiniest bit, ready to have a baby with no epidural. I really didn't think I could do it. A few minutes (I think) later, I told them I felt like I had to push and all of the nurses in the room sternly told me, practically in chorus, not to push until the doctor arrived. It's strange... I thought maybe I was wrong and it wasn't time to push because I've never had a kid, so how would I know for sure? But I was right... it was time to push. There was just this incredible pressure that I can't put into words.
The OB arrived and didn't waste a second. She checked me and sure enough, it was time to deliver. I asked for pain meds and was told it was too late- it was time to have the baby! I figured that, but I had to ask anyways. So they got me into position and the doctor instructed me on how to push... now remember, I had not only planned on getting an epidural, but I had gone into the hospital at 28 weeks so we never took a childbirth class. The OB told me to push with the next contraction, stating that pushing would relieve some of the pain. I was desperate for any kind of relief, so that sounded just wonderful to me at that point. I tried pushing, but it took a few tries for me to get it right. I should mention that the OB that was on call that morning and the night before is the one that's much more straight-to-the-point and while she's friendly, she's a woman of few words for the most part. Suddenly, she was my biggest cheerleader as I had a good and productive push, although I kept forgetting to hold my breath as I was pushing. And then I couldn't hold my breath because it was so painful and there was so much pressure that I had to yell. Not loud though, but I couldn't avoid making some kind of noise. It was beyond my control. There were some moments when I wanted to give up, but everyone was encouraging and I obviously knew there was no turning back. I pushed again, and everyone got excited because she was crowning. Another push or two and I was told I was almost done... one more, and she was out! She was born at 9:38am, just shy of two hours after my labor began.
I couldn't believe what had just happened. There was her tiny body at the end of the birthing bed... she didn't cry at first, but suddenly let out this soft cry and I felt so relieved. The OB already told hubby that she would have to cut the umbilical cord right away so the NICU team, who was on standby in the room, could take her immediately to begin working on her. And that's precisely what happened. As soon as Emma was born, the pain went away. The OB told me I had a second degree tear, so she began stitching and getting me all cleaned up. The NICU team worked on her while this happened and I swear I heard them say something about her being intubated and I started getting really worried. They also said her APGARs were 6 and 7, which also got me worried. When she was all set and in her isolette (incubator), the NICU doctor wheeled her over so we could see her really quickly before she would be taken away. The doctor said she was having trouble breathing so they were assisting her and showed us the mask and bag they were using. They pulled it off of her face for a second so we could see her face, and I immediately noticed that she was not intubated after all. I breathed a sigh of relief. And then realized how absolutely beautiful she was.
So she was whisked away, and I was finally done being stitched after what felt like hours. The OB sincerely congratulated me with a huge smile on her face. She told me she was very proud of me for keeping her in for four whole weeks and for laboring how I did. She also joked about her comment the night before about hubby having about five hours to get to me when I went into labor. She admitted that she was very wrong. She also told us that when she found out how quickly I was laboring, she was really worried that hubby wasn't there and wouldn't make it and was relieved when she was told that he was with me.
Suddenly, the chaotic room filled with tons of people and commotion was quiet and empty aside from myself, hubby, and my nurse. My head was spinning... did this really just happen? I was in such shock and disbelief... we stayed in the labor and delivery room for about an hour or so, and were then transferred to the post partum unit. Let me tell you... I really moved on up to the swanky part of town. I went from a boring, neutral old hospital room with awful wallpaper and a view of a roof and a parking garage to this fancy shmancy brand new room on the fifth floor with a view of Raymond James Stadium and One Buc Place. This whole section of the hospital looks like a hotel and is decorated very beautifully. How ironic that I'm in an awful and depressing looking room (although it was bigger than this one) for four weeks and then put into a really nice hotel-ish room for my last three days.
So my head continued to spin for the rest of the day. We finally got to go see Emma in the NICU that afternoon... she was so tiny but so beautiful. I felt a sense of relief because she just looked healthy. The nurse gave us the rundown of what each tube and wire was and each piece of equipment. She is on a CPAP machine, which is what they use for people with sleep apnea. It's basically forced air; her lungs are too immature to inflate all the way on their own all the time so she needs a little help. But she's on room air and doesn't need additional oxygen which is fantastic. She will be fed through a feeding tube initially and won't try a bottle or breast feeding until the CPAP comes off. But she's such a trooper! I was worried that I was having attachment issues at first because I just didn't feel the overwhelming emotions that I thought I would. I did cry when I saw her in there all hooked up to these big machines, but I just thought I'd feel different. I later realized that everything happened so fast that I still hadn't wrapped my head around the fact that this was my baby girl in there. When we saw her again later that day (hubby is always much more anxious to see her than I am, which surprises me! Not to say that I'm not anxious to see her though, because I am), I felt this twinge in my heart when I laid eyes on her. I stared at her in amazement and disbelief. She was so small... and despite all of the complications I had experienced, she was perfect. Absolutely perfect.
We try to visit her as often as possible... I love having her hold my finger with her hand. I have small hands in the first place, so it's crazy to see how small hers are in comparison. We learned today, though, that she needs her sleep and we should really only touch her if she's already awake. When we saw her tonight, she was in a deep REM sleep- this is when she does the most growing. So we left the isolette closed and just stared at her while she dreamed little baby dreams. Her little eyes would twitch and occasionally open for a split second and her hands and feet would wiggle. She kicked and moved all around... it must have been a good dream :) it was so awesome to watch. I put my arm around hubby's waist and rested my head on his chest and we just watched her in her slumber, laughing at the little poses she was making as she moved all around.
She's stable and doing very well. She put on her boxing gloves, just like mommy asked her to. I feel so blessed and I love her with every fiber of my being... thanks to all who have been praying. I should be able to go home tomorrow and hopefully I can find the time and energy to blog with a little more detail about the NICU happenings from yesterday and today. For now, I've got to try to get some rest. Tomorrow is a big day!
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