There Can be Miracles: 32 Weeks!

Today is July 8, 2012 and I am officially 32 weeks pregnant. THIRTY TWO!!!!! And I've been in the hospital for 27 days now, which is absurd if you ask me.
But... 32 weeks! When I arrived at the ~~prison~~ hospital, I was only 28 weeks and two days pregnant and I was terrified of everything... if Emma had been born that week, we would have had a long and difficult road ahead of us with her in the NICU for weeks upon weeks. I was scared to sneeze (ok, I still am!), sit up, or shower- I actually worried that my water would break in the shower and I wouldn't realize it. Weird, I know. But thinking back to those first couple of days and how unknown and scary everything was, I realize how far I've come in so many ways. Not only have I managed to keep this little bun in the oven for an additional four weeks, but I've managed to accept this challenge and take it head-on. Of course I have my moments of despair and weakness and plenty of days where I just want to go home so badly, but my eyes are always on the prize- a healthy, beautiful baby girl that I can cherish for, hopefully, a very long time. I'm celebrating this milestone today. My original goal was to make it to 30 weeks, then 32, and now the goal is 34. Prior to 30, I wasn't sure I'd make it that far. After 30, I became confident that I could make it to 32 (aside from the week when my UTI was wreaking havoc and causing contractions to the point where the doctors said they would no longer continue to prolong my labor), and now at 32 weeks, I feel like 34 is just around the corner and that I'll be writing a 34 week blog complete with a virtual happy dance. I understand that there's a chance that I won't make it to 34 weeks, after all, there's less than 1cm separating Emma from the world. But at least I feel very relieved that if she's born any time soon, she'll probably be just fine. And after 34 weeks, they won't give me the evil magnesium sulfate when I go into labor because she won't need the extra protection for her brain. We're making progress!
Bullet time!

Hubby had a brilliant idea earlier in the week for us to plan something for his visit this weekend. He suggested a movie night, so that's what we planned. His mom also gave him a gift card yesterday for Carrabba's/Outback/Bonefish/Fleming's for his recent birthday, so he went and picked up some Outback Steakhouse for dinner. Two words: bloomin' onion. OMG. So I finally got that nice, tender steak I've been craving along with the other-worldly bloomin' onion, some sweet potato fries, and broccoli. Holy moly, it was so amazing. His mom also gave him some flameless candles to use during our romantic hospital dinner, which I thought was a cute touch. Before dinner, hubby took me for a spin in the wheelchair and since it was cloudy outside, it was bearable to sit in the garden for a bit. After my evening monitoring session, we watched "Rum Diary" with Johnny Depp. It was a lovely visit to say the least and I'm very impressed that hubby came up with the idea...

I'm confused. I told one OB that I don't understand why I'm still here if my urine protein has stayed below pre-e level and all of my blood work has been fine. She said it was because of the short cervix. The OB yesterday said that because my protein level was above 300 at one point, that's enough for a diagnosis of pre-e and that, if I only had the short cervix, I could go home at 34 weeks. WHAT?! So I have to wait for the specialist to see me on Tuesday and I'll ask for clarification. I think. It may not even be worth it... I know I'm staying until Emma is on the outside. I'm ok with that now.

It's not easy to get a good night's sleep here. I still stay up until after my midnight vitals, and the combination of getting up all night to run to the bathroom and the amount of noise that suddenly begins right smack at 7:00am hampers my ability to get any kind of good rest at night. Oh, and this bed is not very comfortable to sleep on for four weeks. Thank God for the egg crate. I also think some pregnancy insomnia has set in, causing me great difficulty in actually falling asleep after vitals. When my day shift nurse asked me how I was feeling this morning, I told her I was tired because it's tough to sleep. She asked if I would be interested in taking Ambien... um, thanks... but no thanks. Ambien scares me! I've heard too many stories about it and frankly, a half of a benadryl is enough to sedate me into a deep, drooling slumber for about 12 hours. Ambien would likely send me straight into a coma.

My monitoring has gone alright over the last two days and I think I've made it off the monitor in 20-30 minutes each time the whole weekend. I didn't even have a single contraction during monitoring this morning and have only felt a few contractions all day. Granted, I did take a two hour long nap so who knows if I had any contractions during that timeframe. You know what I find funny? Take a 20 minute nap and you wake up feeling like you can conquer the world. Take a two hour nap and you wake up feeling like you've been hit by a mack truck full of sleeping pills. I thought my afternoon naps were the reason I couldn't sleep at night, but I've had a few days without naps and I've still not been able to fall asleep in a timely fashion. Such is life.

Thank God for Pinterest. I've pinned enough crap to last me for years, but it's really given me something to do. But now I have to buy a hot glue gun and a sewing machine. I can just hear hubby now... "where are you going to put it all?" We have storage issues in our condo-sized box of a house and now Emma has taken over our storage room. I don't mind, though ;)

Emma is officially responsive to touch. I can feel her foot sticking out on my right side at times, and if I put my hand there, she does some cute things. Earlier this morning, she pushed back and kind of moved her foot around like she was feeling my hand out of curiosity. Sometimes she'll pull her foot back, but then she immediately pokes my hand again. After I woke up from my nap, we "played" like this for quite a while. I'd press on my side, and her little foot would appear and poke me back. One of us would then move away, and then one of us would poke again, only to be immediately poked back by the other. It was so darned cute. Just now, she started poking my ribcage (not comfortable!) so I poked around a bit and she found my hand with her foot. She's so intrigued by the fact that something is poking her back. While her foot was sticking out for a bit earlier, I rubbed over it and she just kept it there for a little while as I massaged it. I can't wait to massage those little feet without a belly in between us! And before hubby left this morning, I told him that her foot was in my ribs. He pressed on my belly just under my ribs, and Emma immediately poked him back! I loved the look on his face when she did that... I could tell he likes it just about as much as I do. It's such an amazing experience and I'm trying to soak up every second of it!

And now, ladies and gents, my 32 week hospital belly: