A New Chapter Begins

Thanks to Pinterest and Reddit, I've discovered that I have a strong liking of pictures of kittens sleeping on their backs. Thank God for Pinterest.
I'll start with the medical stuff: the plan has officially changed. Instead of trying to prolong by labor by getting terbed when I start contracting frequently, we're just going to let it go. And once I start really going into labor instead of this pre-labor I'm experiencing, they're going to hook me up to an IV drip of magnesium sulfate and see what happens. Its purpose will be twofold: it can stop contractions, but it's more recently been used for neuroprotection of the fetus. Recent studies have shown that magnesium sulfate can reduce the chances of infant intracranial hemorrhage (bleeding in the brain resulting from preemies having weak blood vessels) and cerebral palsy. So even if it doesn't stop the contractions, it's worth the misery of weak muscles, blurry vision, nausea, fatigue, and muscle spasms if it means it's one more added benefit for Emma. I'd do anything for her! This morning, I got my first of two "rescue" shots of betamethasone, the steroid that primes her lungs for delivery. It was the same nurse as yesterday that had the issues getting in the IV line... we're all only human and I could tell she felt really bad about blowing my veins. It happens- my veins are small apparently. So she gave me my beta shot this afternoon and I had faith in her, and for good reason too. The shot was painful, but not nearly as bad as the ones I had before and she did a fantastic job. But it did hurt like crazy afterward. *random interjection: I just sneezed for the third or fourth time in the last few hours. I hate sneezing... I feel like Emma is going to fall out!* They decided not to do the enzyme test since I'm already 1cm dilated and it would obviously be positive, so that was a relief! And the blood work will be done tomorrow when my 24 hour pee pee collection is done.
I do have a UTI... hooray! And not a sarcastic hooray, either- I'm actually quite glad they found something. I'm hopeful that a few days of antibiotics and my pain will subside and the contractions will decrease. *crosses fingers, toes, legs, arms, and eyes* Maybe that won't happen, but I can only hope at this point. So I had my first dose of IV antibiotics this afternoon and while they made me feel a little dizzy, it wasn't bad at all. We met with the perinatologist this evening and luckily hubby had already arrived so he could ask his usual important questions. I'm so glad he's so smart... anyways, it seems I may just go into labor before the pre-e gets bad enough to induce or do an emergency c-section. Scary! It seemed implied that this kid may be here in the next week, but obviously no one can know for sure. The peri thinks that my body is just sensing that something is wrong and trying to fix the problem by getting this kid out. Poor Emma! So we're letting nature take its course. My contractions have been picking up over the last few days, but they aren't painful yet and it seems I'm still in pre-labor for now. I'll probably just suddenly start having back to back and painful contractions one day and be shipped down to labor and delivery for my mag sulfate and possible delivery. I would be lying if I said I'm not terrified about all of this. But I completely agree with the plan... the perinatologist was worried that the terb is just not good for me considering my blood pressures have been bouncing around. Even on a 90mg dose of extended release procardia, which is a blood pressure medication, by BP's have been hanging out around the mid-upper 130's/80/s and have been in the 140's/90's at times. A few hours after my terb yesterday, I was at 151/80 something. So we've canned the terb. There's no point in stopping the contractions if it's wreaking havoc on my cardiovascular system. It's very comforting to know that I'm in good hands here and it seems that the doctors have all been very concerned and thorough regarding my care. It's nice to trust my medical team. And aside from trusting them, most of the nurses here have been just wonderful. The others have been great, but many of them are fantastic. Some of them even pop into my room to see how I'm doing if they haven't been assigned to me for a few days. I had a discussion with my RN and the peri ARNP this afternoon about men in uniform and older men we swoon over. It was funny and I enjoyed the socialization.
Speaking of socialization, my parents, sister in law, and beautiful nieces stopped by this afternoon. The big girls brought me some drawings they made, and they were much more comfortable here than last time, which is to be expected. I loved talking with them and getting hugs. I just adore those three munchkins so much, which makes me wonder how much I'm going to love Emma. My heart almost explodes with happiness and love when I think about my nieces... so it was nice to see my family and joke around. The little niece was being silly- I love three year olds. She's just so adorable. And my sister in law delivered a package sent from my Aunt in North Carolina, who has been so supportive and encouraging through all of this. The package contained a whole ton of snacks, candy, treats, and PEANUT BUTTER and POP TARTS. I almost died of happiness, it was like a Christmas of calories and tastiness. It solves my dilemma of having to hoard my desserts so I have a snack on hand between meals or before bed, but the same things over and over begin to get boring to me. But now I have enough to keep me happy, even during our NICU stay. That was the highlight of my whole week! It was really better than anything I could have asked for. She also sent golden oreos, which are hubby proof :) had they been classic oreos, hubby would have destroyed them before I could get my hands on more than a few. He's an oreo monster.
Speaking of hubby, today was his birthday. I felt so bad that I couldn't get him anything or do anything nice for him, and that he spent his birthday shoving a glider through a doorway that was too small and then lying around doing nothing in a hospital room with me. He insists he doesn't care about his birthday, but I care about it, because without his birthday, I wouldn't have him! I'll spare him the embarrassment of me rambling on about how much I love him and why... but I will say this: I'm so incredibly happy that Emma gets to grow up with a constant good example of how a man should treat a woman. I felt that I had that as a child, too, which is why I ended up marrying someone who treats me well. My dad always respected my mom and I never heard him say anything mean, disrespectful, belittling, or demeaning to her. They never argued in front of us kids... at least not about the big stuff. They would get annoyed and frustrated with one another, but it never went beyond that. I hope to uphold the same for Emma... I want her to grow up to marry someone who respects her and treats her well, so she has to know that it's not only possible, but that it's the norm. And I know she'll have a great example in her daddy. I also know he'll be a wonderful father to her and that he'll love her to death, and I'm grateful for that too. He's an awesome person, and I'm so happy that Emma gets to be in his life like I am. I can't even begin to say how much I love every bit of him.
So I could very well be a mommy in the next week. Or the week after that, or.... who knows? But she'll probably join the ranks of the July birthdays in my family. Although I do think it would be awesome if she were born on our anniversary- August 3. Because she'd be so much less premature AND I think it would be really cool. So we'll see when her birthday will be... I just hope she's healthy.