Day 15

I have yet to master the craft of eating in bed... I seem to spill something down the front of me every time I eat. Hubby thinks it's hilarious, but I happen to think that I don't pull off the sloppy look very well. Oh well, it's not like I have anywhere to go or anyone to impress! I've impressed hubby enough since I've known him- I think I can take a break for a bit ;)
Speaking of hubby, he came for another visit last night. It's kind of sad that our relationship has been reduced to phone calls, text messages, and visits BUT it's for the best. As I expected, we've become closer through this just as we did during our infertility journey. I've always known that he loves me, cares about me, and would do anything for me, but we've never really had a situation that would put the latter to the test. He's really been such a champ about this and I can't imagine having to go through this without his support and love. I just love that man to pieces.
I made it off the monitor in 20 minutes both times yesterday! What I didn't know, though, was that Emma's heart rate was dropping during the contractions I was having last night during my PM monitoring session. My nurse, who is awesome, just called the OB to see what the OB thought and was told that the OB wasn't concerned, so I guess the nurse decided not to freak me out and didn't say anything. I had some contractions during my morning session today, so I figured the OB would be called. Just before the nurse came in, I had another contraction and noticed that baby girl's heart rate became really slow. Like, scary slow. This has happened a few times before and no one ever said anything about it and I always forgot to ask. So when the nurse came in a few seconds later, I asked if that was normal. She shook her head and said "no." She said it was in conjunction with the contraction (I didn't put two and two together to realize that it was happening during the contraction) and that she was waiting on the OB, who was down in labor and delivery. She did reassure me that she didn't think it was a big problem because Emma's heart rate immediately rebounded each time and went above her baseline, which was a very good sign. Apparently her heart rate slowed during each of the three-ish contractions I had but I couldn't really detect the difference just by listening. Her baseline was 140 (which is good!) and dropped to 110 for the first few contractions. But during the last one, the one that scared me, it dropped to about 80! Hubby looked just as scared and concerned as I felt. The nurse had me turn on my side and the contractions subsided. When the OB came, she explained that the contractions seemed to be clamping down on the umbilical cord and temporarily decreasing the blood flow to my princess. She said that, since I basically have no cervix left, the contractions are squeezing harder on everything than they normally would. She assured me that there was no ill effect on Emma and that it was short-lived and she bounced back very well.
So hubby then took me for a wheelchair ride out into the tropical storm winds. I kind of enjoyed it... it wasn't too hot, and to feel the wind blowing through my hair was a welcomed change from the hospital room. The nurse tonight mentioned that she was tired of all of this poor weather. I told her it didn't make a difference to me- the weather is always the same in the hospital!
We met with the perinatologist again today... they swing by to check on me every couple of days. It was a different doctor than the two I've met before, and I really like this one. I hate when doctors seem like they're in a rush, and so far, two out of the three peris I've met have been wonderful and really take their time to talk and be thorough. He's happy I've made it to 30 weeks (and two days!) and took some time to answer our questions. I asked for clarification on the pre-e and whether it would definitely get worse. He said yes, it will absolutely get worse but what we don't know is when that will happen. He conferred with the OB that the deceleration of Emma's heart rate isn't harming the baby and that her umbilical cord is just being squished in there when I have the contractions. At this point, it's just a waiting game, and one that will hopefully drag out for a few more weeks. We'll just have to see if my water breaks first or if the pre-e gets worse, but he indicated that this baby won't make it to 37 weeks. It's a scary thought, and I'm definitely not prepared to have this baby yet! Hubby brought up that we've been informed about the extended release version of the Procardia that I'm taking for blood pressure and contractions. He also brought it up to the OB, who didn't think it would be worth it. So he tried again with the peri (he's such a good advocate for me) and mentioned that the contractions get worse about 30-60 minutes prior to my dose of Procardia and that my blood pressure readings are starting to go up. He told the peri that he thought the extended release would help because I wouldn't have to worry about an increase in contractions four times per day. He also wanted me to have the extended release med because then I wouldn't have to have meds at 12am and 6am and I could actually get some sleep at night, but he didn't say that to the peri because that was more of an added benefit than a real reason to switch. The peri said he thought it was a good idea too and that we should go ahead and try it and see what happens. I'm so grateful that hubby looks out for me so well. And so grateful that my OB's and peri are so wonderful. My nighttime nurse said that my OB practice is one of the best that work out of this hospital and said that there is only one other practice that she likes as much. I'm so glad I chose them- I wonder if all of this would have been caught if I went elsewhere and I've heard horror stories about practices that don't pay much attention to these things. I was initially a little frustrated with the one OB who seemed to be so crazy about my blood pressure, but now I'm grateful for all of the additional testing, appointments, ultrasounds, etc. that they had me do.
So my first dose of the new med was at 6pm. I was put on the monitor at about 7:45 and had seven contractions in less than an hour. Awesome. So I had another lovely shot of terb... I used to really dread these shots because of how they make me feel but I've gotten used to them now. Well, as much as I can be considering it makes my whole body tremble and my heart race and just makes me feel yucky. But now I just give my arm to the nurse and let her shoot me up and then prepare for the storm. I know it could be so much worse! So my contractions stopped and all is well. At least Emma's heart rate didn't drop with the contractions since I was lying on my side this time and she's been wiggling around all night. I just feel so bad every time I get a contraction because I worry that her blood supply is getting cut off! My poor baby girl- it seems my body just doesn't like being pregnant and it's taking it out on her! She's getting squeezed and squished and she'll have to enter this world when she's not ready! It's just amazing to me, though, that suddenly the center of my universe (aside from hubby) is a little 3-4 pound baby that I haven't seen or held yet. She's the most important thing to me... I never knew I could feel so much love towards my little guppy before I've even met her.
So the plan is unchanged- continue the hospital bed rest. 24 hour urine collection every week (this week it has been bumped to Thursday due to an error in the orders that prevented us from doing it today), weekly blood draw to monitor for HELLP syndrome (I'll let you Google that if you wish), growth ultrasounds every 3 weeks, twice daily monitoring, and BP readings every four hours. I'm getting the hang of hospital life and I've been able to come to terms with this situation as much as possible, so I'm still feeling alright! I only started to cry when hubby left today, but it stopped at me getting misty-eyed and didn't go any further. Progress :)
Now that the shakes have stopped, I think it's time to paint my fingernails and watch some Mad Men!