Monitor Weaning

Holy baby vomit. Or should I say, holy projectile baby vomit. There was no warning either- she wasn't overfed or overstimulated. She was just cuddling with me in her nursery after she refused a second ounce of formula. It was a little early for her to eat, but she didn't want to stay asleep after I put her in her pack n play and began acting hungry. So there I sat, in my glider, when suddenly... whoosh. It was like a warm fountain of baby vomit that gushed directly from her mouth all over my neck, shoulder, chest, arm, and the glider. It was cool. Not. But hey- I made sure to get a shower tonight! Make that two... one just happened to be stinkier than the other.

Dare I say it- last night was a good night and today was a good day. I know what that means, though- it means tonight is going to be horrific and I'm going to stumble into my in-laws' house tomorrow half asleep as I drop her off for the afternoon so I can work in the field. Hubby went to bed early after having an exhausting night the night before, and I woke Emma up at 10:00 for a bath. I gave her a bottle and she drifted off to sleep, and managed to stay asleep for four hours. When she woke me up at 3:30 for another bottle, I was shocked when I realized what time it was. She ended up having an erratic feeding schedule today, going no more than 2 1/2 hours between feeds which is unusual for her. She's usually an every-three-hour feeder, like clockwork. Despite her frequent meals, she was pretty even tempered and there was no screaming involved during the day. She's been excessively fussy tonight after puking all over me, though. I think I have the right to be excessively fussy too, since I was showered in baby vomit and had to sit there all sticky and stinky while hubby finished up washing dishes so he could take her while I showered. Regardless, I think I'm in for a long night of fussiness and no sleep. Hooray!

Oh, god. My dog smells awful. Poor thing.

I think it's pretty darned awesome that Emma seems to be so much more aware of things now. She actually stares at things, follows things, and reacts at times. The best part is that she's aware of us now- she knows who we are and likes looking at us, especially when we feed her. I can't help but look on in awe when I realize that there are new synapses forming in that little brain of hers every second of the day as she looks, learns, and grows. That would be the neuroscience dork part of me... it's fascinating, you have to admit! Sadly, I can't imagine that I'm going to be able to go back and get my Master's degree after all. At least not any time soon... unless someone who's independently wealthy would like to finance my tuition for me. Hah. Wishful thinking.

Her doctor's appointment is on Friday... so we may walk out with a script to d/c the monitor. I'm excited about not having that darned thing tied to the baby. I'm also excited that she won't have to wear that belt that the sensors attach to- it's cheese factory number 2, with factory number 1 being her neck. I got her extra clean in her bath last night so she was only mildly ripe today. Anyways, I have this completely illogical fear of her being off the monitor... while I really want her off of it, I really don't at the same time. I understand that the monitor merely tells us when something happens, but for some reason I feel like it's preventing something from happening. I know it's not, but I have this feeling that she'll just stop breathing if she's not on her monitor. Ugh. She's had wires and leads hooked up to her for 10 weeks and suddenly we're faced with the prospect of her having nothing. Well, nothing except for the movement/respiration monitor we bought off of Amazon ;) because I'm super paranoid like that. But good God, can you blame me?! After all we've been through, I'll be darned if I don't do everything within reason to keep this miracle alive and watch her grow. Even if it means being a crazy mom who clips a motion sensor on her kid's pj's at night when she's already in elementary school. lol. *sigh* I'm trying to wean myself of the monitor- I tried letting her nap in her crib this afternoon without it, with me sitting in the glider next to the crib working. But she wouldn't stay in the crib and realized that she was hungry- go figure. I tried, though!

Speaking of weaning... I think our breastfeeding days are numbered. She doesn't want to nurse anymore and really fights me about it. I can sometimes get her to go for it, but she lasts for no more than about 7 minutes and won't take the second side. I'm not going to give up, though- I'll let her determine when we're done. I'm guessing that my supply will dwindle to nothing if she continues to refuse to nurse but until then, I'll keep trying with her.

Pictures, go!

"No pictures today, please. I'm feeling fat." 

 Her first real nap in her crib on 9/15

 After much fussing and rolling around, she got in her usual comfortable sleeping position.

 She's still pretty tiny, even though she seems huge to me!

Fighting to stay awake, but it was a losing battle.

Alright- I may attempt to hop in bed for a short bit before it's time to feed her again. It's probably a terrible idea, but apparently I'm really good at making awful decisions so I'm just going to go with it and see what happens. Because... science. The end.