Let's Do the Time Warp Again

This may end up being an epic blog post... but not epic due to content, rather, epic due to length. If you're yet to have children, it'll probably leave you realizing how awesome and free your life is and how lucky you are to be able to sleep. If you've had children already, it'll likely have you saying "ah, I remember those days." And if you're like me and have a new baby, you'll probably be nodding your head and mumbling under your breath "preach on, girl." Definitely mumbling though- can't wake the baby!

Having a new baby puts you in some sort of time warp, at least if you're a mom. Dads seem to be somewhat immune to the effect. But it seems like I can set out with the best of intentions for my day and plenty of time to accomplish it to boot, but I will never ever accomplish anything I plan to do. If I'm lucky, I may cross one thing off my list and partially cross off another. I don't know what it is, really... when you do the math, it appears that there are hours of free time every day to get stuff done- I mean it only takes about an hour to feed her and then there are usually two hours left before the next feed. The problem is that she's colicky now and needs to be held much more than she used to, and she's much more fussy than she's ever been. Add to that the fact that she's spending more time awake during the day and you have the exact ingredients needed for the time warp. I had a bit of a temper tantrum last night when hubby went to bed because I hadn't gotten much of anything accomplished all weekend. Sunday nights are that awful time when you realize that there's a long week ahead of you. For me, it means five long days and sleepless nights before I have two days to try to squeeze in as many chores and tasks as possible. The problem is that I also try to get some sleep, but there's certainly not enough time for sleep and getting things accomplished. I finally finished laundry and ironing tonight after being about a week behind and buried in clothes covered in spit up and pee. I felt like running a victory lap around the house when I finished, but I suddenly realized how bad my back (and subsequently my legs too... stupid sciatica) was hurting. I also think there's a high probably that one of the following would happen: I would either a) trip and fall on my face b) fall flat on my face from sheer exhaustion c) run face first into a wall. Regardless, my face would get injured because that's the kind of luck I've been having lately.

Speaking of luck... what the heck, universe? Did I not pay my dues from struggling with infertility for the better part of two years, being on hospital bed rest for four weeks, and having a 32 weeker in the NICU for three weeks that came home on a monitor? Now we have to throw a screaming colicky baby in the mix?

It's turning me into a screaming, colicky mommy. I'm trying so hard to keep it together but there are many a moment when the stress, frustration, and exhaustion come out in the form of whining and the occasional temper tantrum. I'm being candid here because I feel like most parents deny having those moments out of pride. I call foul. My mom reminded me that most people who claim to have had easy babies and breezed right through the newborn days were probably lying. Liar, liar pants on fire. Not me- I apparently like to bare my soul on the blogosphere for all to read. But it's certainly therapeutic for me and hey... maybe it's a good form of birth control for some.

Her colic pattern is starting to change day-by-day. She had two nights of shorter periods of screaming/crying/fussiness and she's been either super fussy or super sleepy during the day.

Two things happened yesterday: she pooped all over hubby's shirt (it was really bad) and then she kept me up all. night. long. Well, technically it was this morning, but she got up to eat at 2:30am and didn't go back to sleep until 5:30am. I had a series of temper tantrums and meltdowns until hubby got up at 5 to take over so I could rest since I had to go into work this morning. It was horrible and I was so frustrated at not being able to get any sleep at all.

So I know I'm complaining a lot, but keep in mind that the complaining is reserved for the exhaustion and lack of getting things done. This little screaming, farting, laundry maker is my whole life and the center of my universe. She's so stinking cute that I shower her with kisses all day long, and sometimes it really seems to annoy her. She had better get used to it because those cheeks are so kissable that there's no way I'm ever going to stop. I also love how she's so reactive now- she clearly focuses in on things and it's interesting to see what holds her attention and what bores her to death. It's also so awesome when she focuses in on my face and stares into my eyes... I'm fascinated with the fact that she knows who I am and recognizes me now. She's yet to flash a full smile at me- I've gotten a half smile so far. My shirt has gotten a full smile. Go figure.

She spent the day at Grammy and Pop's house today... it was the first time that she's been left with someone other than myself or hubby at a place other than home. And only the second time ever that she's been babysat. I'm just so thankful to have family that are so willing to help out and enjoy spending time with my fussy baby!

Our next trip to the pediatrician is on Friday (9/21). We're going to have a conversation about getting her off the monitor- fingers crossed! I think she's gone 8 days without a brady now, but I don't think we need the monitor regardless. We know when she's brady-ing, monitor or no monitor, and she doesn't get them unless we're feeding her and she chokes. Only a few times has she choked on spitup while she wasn't eating, but those events are few and far between and she apparently is able to breathe again without our assistance. At this point, the monitor is just peace of mind that she's still alive when she's sleeping peacefully. We have to wean ourselves at some point... and it is really nice to utilize her nursery to feed her, especially now that we moved the TV from the bedroom in there. And my Little Castle glider is a little slice of heaven. One that shall soon be covered in baby vomit, much like the rest of my house.

I am so excited for Christmas this year! I know Emma won't have a clue as to what is going on, but I think it'll be so magical for our little family to have our first Christmas together. I just love that we're a family of three now. And that the third member of our family is the most adorable and squeezably cute little baby that has ever existed!