There Can be Miracles: Emma's First Halloween

Wanna know what my life has come to? Hubby decided to give Emma her bedtime bottle and get her into bed tonight, and I warned him that she has been a very angry bedtime baby for the last week. I told him he'd probably end up needing to hold her for about 15-20 minutes while she cried, fussed, and kicked, and then he'd have to put her in her crib with her paci and keep putting it back in her mouth until she calmed down to the point where she could put herself to sleep. Wouldn't you figure- she was nice and calm for him. He walked out into the hallway and I asked if she was in bed and he said yes, but he thought she pooped and couldn't tell. So he wanted me to come do a sniff test before he got her up out of her crib and woke her up. Yep. That's my life- awkwardly leaning over the front rail of the crib (I'm super short. So I'm considering investing in a stool, especially for when we have to lower her mattress) and sticking my nose as close to her bum as I can to see if my kid smells farty or poopy. And sure enough- the one night that she goes to bed calmly and quietly, she poops... so hubby had to get her up and change her diaper. Hmph.

Not a whole lot has changed over the last few days. Emma is still a happy, crazy little baby. She had a doctor's appointment on 11/1 and her eye is completely healed, so no more antibiotic drops. Not that they were a big deal, because she would frequently smile after I put a drop in her eye. She's seriously a weirdo like that.

So while not much has changed over the last few days, I'm constantly reminded of how much has changed in such a short amount of time. It was just three months and two days ago that she came home from the NICU and both hubby and I were excited and terrified at the concept of having a five-pound preemie on a cardiorespiratory monitor to care for around the clock with no nurses to swoop in when things got hairy. The stress of it all was crushing and I had many days when I wasn't quite sure I'd make it out in one piece- I was certain I'd lose my mind in the least. I was also completely overwhelmed with new motherhood, on top of having major issues with breastfeeding and dealing with repeated "Apparent Life-Threatening Events" with almost every feed. I did a little internet research recently on SIDS and was reading about apnea, and found out that the bradys she was having fell into that category. I mean, it was obvious that the events put her on the brink of no return, but it's still scary to think about it. Anyways. Within the last few weeks, I've really settled into my role as a mommy and adjusted to the routine. I've accepted the fact that I'll get very little accomplished in my "free time" and that it's ok. Some things can just wait. AND. I'm getting more sleep. That always helps... so add all of this up, and you have a much happier mommy.

Oh, and I'm transferring back "home" at work. This was the "stress" reference of a previous post- I'm trading stress for stress. But a different kind of stress- a higher workload. Much higher. But less driving, more opportunity for advancement, and some pretty awesome coworkers. I think it'll be a good change... but I'll kind of miss the scenic area I work in now. I grew up in a part of Florida with zero elevation change, and where I work now has some beautiful rolling hills and lots of pastures and open land. Oh well. I can always visit.

I mentioned I'm getting more sleep. Hallelujah. Over this past week, Emma has dropped her middle-of-the-night feed. She suddenly started sleeping longer and getting up around 1:30-3:00am for a bottle, then again around 5 or 6. But for the past few nights, she's been sleeping for longer and longer stretches. In fact, she was asleep in bed by 10:30 last night (she was actually in bed around 9:30 but fussed off and on for about an hour) and woke up at 5:30am. I usually give her a few minutes after the first grunt to make sure she's really awake, but this time she went right back to sleep and slept until 6am. Seven and a half hours of sleep. Straight. OMG. I actually went to bed at about the time she fell asleep, so we both got some good sleep last night. Hubby let me sleep in, so I caught up on some much needed slumber. I'm trying not to get too used to this though, as I know she can easily enter another growth spurt and start waking in the middle of the night to feed again. But I realized that an interrupted sleep has become the norm for me (part of that adjustment thing)... I've had plenty of days when I've thought "why the heck am I so tired? I got seven hours of sleep last night..." and then I realized "oh wait. I still had to be up to feed her in the middle of the night." I forget that, despite getting an adequate quantity of sleep, the quality hasn't been great. For about a week, I was having to get up when she'd start to fuss to give her the pacifier so she'd sleep for another hour before getting up to feed (I give her the paci when she's fussy and hungry so she doesn't get too worked up while I get her bottle ready. But after a few nights of returning to the nursery to find a fully asleep baby, I decided it was worth my time to get up and give her the paci and wait to see if she fell back asleep, which she usually does), then get up an hour later to feed her. This would usually happen twice before it was mommy's wake-up time. So my sleep quality has been lacking.

What I wouldn't give for about 10-12 hours of completely uninterrupted sleep. That's what I want for Christmas- a night in a hotel room ;) I'm just kidding- I really don't want to spend a night away from her. Even in the middle of the night, I have to refrain from squeezing the living daylights out of her because I just love her so much and want to cuddle and squish her. She's very squishy. And so cute.

Emma's first Halloween was great! We didn't put her in a costume, as Halloween in Florida is typically very warm. And baby costumes are generally made for colder climates. I just couldn't see spending money on a costume that she could only wear for pictures because she'd be roasting in it otherwise. And of course, thanks to hurricane Sandy, it was nice and nippy on Halloween. But her Great Gramma Betty sent an adorable little Halloween outfit for her, which we paired with her pumpkin hat from her Great Aunt Linda. Halloween in my neighborhood is pretty big business- most of the people sit in their driveways and hand out candy and mobs (literally mobs) of children make their way around. We also have a few Sheriff deputies that patrol with their lights on for safety. It's pretty awesome- The kids have a great time and it's a very safe neighborhood, so it's just a good night all-around. This year, we sat out in the driveway with Emma, who was surprisingly interested in what was going on. She got fussy when it was time to eat, but was otherwise content to look at all of her "friends" who came to get candy. We also (finally) met some of the neighbors and had a chat about things. They are very nice people... I love our neighborhood! With the exception of the weed-whacking neighbors, but that's another story for another day. Emma ended up falling asleep in my arms towards the end, and the mobs of children scampered back into their own homes just in time for Emma's bath (and just in time for us to run out of candy, even the reserves I put off to the side for hubby and I to eat).

Photosforyou.