Potty Training, Days 2-5

Dear Future Self,
I imagine that you could be reading this post because you're feeling nostalgic and want to see just how much has changed between now and whenever you're reading this. OR, you could be desperately searching for answers on what was different during these first few days of potty training so you can figure out how the heck to get this kid to use the potty consistently. Well. No answers here, so don't waste your time. But you knew this wasn't going to be easy and the fact that it started off well should have been a huge indication that it wasn't going to end well. Am I right? Are you nodding your head while wiping away the tears of defeat? How many pairs of soggy toddler underwear did you wash today? Now how many glasses of wine have you consumed/will you consume today? Just remember- she's stubborn, strong-willed, and determined to be right. Just like you... so put those Pampers back on her adorable little butt and start again some other time. Days 2-5 were a fluke.
Love,
July 18th Self.

No, really. I don't get this lucky... it has to be a fluke. Once the baby/toddler realizes that it's not really fun to use the potty, she'll go right back to pissing whenever and wherever she wants. I'm just waiting for that to happen, but silently praying that, for once, I got lucky. Ok, ok. Not "for once." She's such a fantastic, smart, and amazing little child and I'm certainly lucky to have her. Shoot... if I really think about it, she's been pretty easy-going in a lot of ways- I was terrified of the bottle weaning, and she handled it like a champ, extremely nervous about transitioning to the toddler bed, and she only got out of bed repeatedly for one night, and only once the night after that, and she goes to bed pretty darned well for a 2-year-old. And by that, I mean that she "sleep stalls" a little... while we pick out books, she tries to keep picking more. On the way out of her playroom after picking books, she has to touch and try to play with every toy she passes. Then she wants to wander into the living room. Reading most of her books just once is not enough. After the books are read, she sits in her bed but doesn't want to lie down right away. Then she wants just one more song. ABCD! Rockabye Baby! Oh, and kisses! Because she knows I can't resist those.

Anyways.

Potty training day 1 was an unexpected success. I figured day 2 would be worse but... nope. She did great again- just one accident when she peed in her pants while playing. She was overdue for a poo, and I knew she had to go. Since she had been hiding in her new tent to poop in her diaper prior to potty training, I had a stroke of genius (I thought it was such a stupid idea at the time but I was determined to not clean poop out of a pair of underwear if at all possible) and moved her potty chair into her tent. She sat down, and pooed. It was amazing. What wasn't amazing was when we came back to get her potty chair after going into the bathroom to wipe her bum and found the dog emptying the poo from the potty. OMG gross. Gross gross gross. Bleh. (we'll reminisce on that one day. "Remember when the dog ate the baby's poo out of her potty chair?" *sigh*)

Day 3- we had plans for a play date at an indoor play place, so I figured putting her in underwear would be a terrible idea and so I slapped a diaper on her little bum. She pooed almost immediately, and I figured she took the opportunity because she's much more comfortable doing it that way. When we got home, I put her on the potty before her nap and... surprise! She pooed on the potty. I couldn't believe it. She had one pee in her panties, but the rest of it landed in the potty. Whew.

Day 4- her first poopy pants. What a mess... I read that you're supposed to empty the poo into the potty to remind her that it's where her poo is supposed to go. After getting poo on the back of the potty seat, on the floor, on my hand, and all over her underwear, I realized that this was not a good idea. She was probably snickering on the inside while watching me fumble with her soiled underwear. In my mind, I was begging her to not touch the poo. For the love of God DO NOT TOUCH THE POO. This was also the day that she decided to test my parenting skills big time by running away from me every time I tried to put her panties and shorts back on her. I tried sitting her in the corner, wrangling her, using my stern voice, and using telekinesis but nothing was working. Finally, I wised up and brought out my phone. I sat on the stool in the bathroom and surfed the internet and told her we could go play when she was ready to put on her shorts. She would come over to me and ask for her shorts, then run away again and laugh. I'd shrug my shoulders and return to internet surfing. She then came over and tried to look at my phone, and asked to watch videos of herself (OMG she's so vain) but I told her we would do that in her play room after she put her shorts on. A few minutes later, she asked for her shorts and very obediently allowed me to put them on her. Score one for mommy... I still have more willpower than a 2-year-old. Her poopy pants ended up being her only accident of the day.

Day 5 (today)- her first real trip outside of the house without a diaper on. I dropped her off with my parents, which is an hour drive from my house. In my mind, I weighed the pros and cons of diaper butt vs. panties. I ended up thinking screw it, it's better to see what happens now instead of chancing it after I go back to work. So I put her in her Bubble Guppy panties with a vinyl cover under her shorts, and sat her on a hand towel in her car seat. When we got to my parents' house, her shorts were a little wet. I picked her up, and apparently her shorts were wet enough to get pee on my shirt. Awesome. I spent a whole day with secret pee on my shirt. Oh yea- and my cami under my tank top had a secret makeup stain on it because Emma decided to grab my (open) foundation bottle off the counter and whip it around, causing liquid foundation to splatter on the wall, the mat, the cabinets, the baby, and the mommy. I figured it would be hidden under my tank top, so I did the awesome mom thing and let it ride. It was my little secret- I had pee and makeup on my clothes and no one knew. Anyways. She had actually put what appeared to be a full bladder's worth of pee into her underwear during the car ride, and the vinyl cover did its job for the most part and kept the majority of it inside. That was her one and only accident of the day. Before we left the house this morning, she was sitting on the potty and asked me to put "potty in tent!" so I figured she needed to poo. I held up a towel to give her some privacy without me having to leave the bathroom and... plop plop plop. Worked like a charm. So no poopy pants today, and she went potty like a big girl at my parents' house all day. She even woke up from her nap with a dry diaper (we're still diapering during naps and at bedtime).

So that's that. Is my child potty trained? Nope. She's not. I make it a point to put her on the potty every 30-45 minutes. If I ask her if she needs to go, her answer is always "nnnnoooooo" but she'll end up peeing on the potty anyways. She has never told me that she needs to go. And I think it'll be awhile before she gets to that point... but I'm not turning back now. My wallet will very much appreciate not having to buy 150+ diapers every month on top of the overnight diapers. So... whatevs. I'll be a slave to the clock and remembering to announce "it's potty time" a hundred times a day. I'm sure it'll get old, and I'm sure she'll one day decide that using the potty is for losers and get all "Billy Madison" on us and think it's cool to pee her pants. And then I'll come to read this blog post, and convince myself that I'm wrong and that there's something different I could/should do to get this kid to be potty trained. Because that's how I do.