All I Want for Christmas

One year ago today, miracle baby was nothing more than a tiny cluster of miracle cells growing, dividing, and making her way down my left (yes, left. I figured I ovulated out of my left side and the ultrasound tech confirmed it. Pretty cool, huh?) fallopian tube. It was truly the beginning of this insane journey. Being forever reflective and nostalgic, I've done lots of thinking about all of this over the last few days. So much has happened in just one year- many lessons learned, tears shed, hugs, smiles, and many days of having a severely sore jaw from clenching it from all of the anxiety. I'm going to do much more reflecting over the next few weeks because this is when the dominoes began to fall... starting with ovulating on 12/11, feeling twinges on 12/18, the positive pregnancy test on 12/20, then announcing the pregnancy to our families on 12/25. I have very vivid memories from those few weeks... "All I want for Christmas is You" played on the radio today and I swear I must have had the biggest smile on my face as I sang along in the car. It was my song to Emma last year when I found out she existed... "I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know... make my wish come true, baby all I want for Christmas is you." I know, it's a love song. But the lyrics are pretty fitting... just make "baby" into a more literal meaning and voila! Emma song. I always liked that song, but now it holds a special meaning and reminds me of the most amazing Christmas gift I've ever received- my sweet child.

And now for the good stuff. Miracle baby update!

This week was surprisingly great in the sleep department. Well, for Emma. Not so much for me. Last weekend was insanely hectic, starting on Saturday when I attended the baby shower of one of my bestest friends ever. I was so happy to see her glowing with her adorable (and TINY!) pregnant belly and the joy of a mom-to-be written all over her face. I've always loved when good things happen to great people... so this shower was definitely a celebration of that very situation. Hubby decided we should break RSV lockdown and take her to a wedding the next day so we could introduce her to some of our closest friends who have been dying to meet her... I reluctantly agreed, knowing that I'd be worried and stressed the whole time.

The wedding was beautiful and another amazing celebration of good things happening to great people. You could just feel the love. A few people used the word "miracle" in reference to Emma and it was surreal to hear other people say it. Because it really is true.

Miracle baby had two meltdowns- one when we got there, and one just before the reception. The first one resulted from attempting to feed her cold formula. She takes room-temperature formula like a champ, but try to give her cold formula and she'll look at you like you've just tried to feed her motor oil. Then apparently she starts screaming. I was flustered... was this how the whole night would be?! Initially, I wasn't sure what was bothering her so I tried everything, even stripping her out of her dress, thinking that she was uncomfortable in it. I let out a slight sigh of relief when she continued to scream sans dress, because I really wanted her to wear her dress for the wedding. Oh, 90210. I'll never change... Luckily she ended up calming down and I regained my composure in time for the ceremony to start. And wouldn't you know it, she was so great during the ceremony. She even farted... just loud enough for the few people around us to hear. I had to stifle my laughter. I got her into the car after the cocktail hour to take her to the reception nearby, but there was a long line for the valet and the cars weren't moving. And then the screaming started. In an act of desperation, I pulled out my phone, looked up the number for the restaurant, and asked if there was another place to park. Hooray technology! I parked and frantically made up a bottle and fed her into a stupor. Poor kid. She was so well-behaved during the reception too... I fed her before I brought her home so she would sleep in the car. Then I got her home, fed her a little more, then put her in bed. And proceeded to collapse myself so I could get a few hours of sleep before I had to be up to feed her, then sleep for another hour before having to be up in the morning to get her ready, take her to my mom, and go to work. *yawn*

In short, we survived. And I learned to never ever put her in the car if she hasn't eaten something recently unless I want to drive home with a seriously shouty baby.

So the rest of the week went smoothly... her ever-changing schedule stayed consistent this week and I'm going to be sad to see it go- I know it won't last long because she likes to change things up with no warning. She's been in bed somewhere between 7 and 8:30pm every night after having about 8-10 ounces of formula before going down for the night. Not always at once, but usually within about 2 hours of bedtime. Then she sleeps until 4:30 or 5, has a quick bottle, then is back in bed until I wake her up around 7:45 or 8. It allows me to get up at 7, shower, make my coffee, feed the dog, put on my makeup, let the dog out, and prepare the bottle and medicine for miracle baby. I've settled into a good but hectic morning routine, which is crazy for me since I'm the opposite of a morning person.

And, the biggest news of all- she is finally sleeping well at my in-laws house in her pack n play! YAY! She slept for three straight hours yesterday and three and a half today like a big girl :) I'm so relieved... it's definitely contributed to her better nighttime settling and overall happiness.

This kid is seriously a cheeseball. And I'm not referring to the cheese factory, also known as her neck, that I've reference in past posts. In fact, the cheese factory is mostly shut down now that she is starting to have a real neck and not just a head sitting on top of little shoulders. Apparently that's what happens when you can actually start to hold your head up. Anyways... if you had asked me three months ago how I would have described my child, I would have used words like pukey, gassy, sleepy, and colicky. Now, I'd say she's goofy, silly, happy, and sweet. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, miracle baby has a personality! She's every bit as funny and goofy as I thought she'd be, too. She cheeses at anyone who makes eye contact with her, and if she's being held when someone makes eye contact, she quickly smiles, turns her head away, kicks her feet, and smacks whoever is holding her. I like to say that she smiles with her whole body. And her eyes... those eyes. I can always tell how she's feeling based on those gigantic eyes. That's the first thing that everyone says when they see her, too- "oh my god, those eyes!" Yes, they're huge. Add in the chubby cheeks and her big open-mouthed toothless smile, and she's one stinkin' cute baby if I do say so myself.

She's also about this [] close to rolling over from her tummy to her back. She can do a baby pushup (more like upward facing dog, if you ask me) that would put an athlete to shame, and is now starting to rock to one side. In fact, she came so close to rolling over at my in-laws' house today that I really thought she was going to do it. Just one more inch to the side and she would have rolled herself right over, so it's only a matter of days before she finally does it. She can also sit up on her own for brief periods of time before she topples to one side or the other... I can't believe how quickly she's growing and learning! She can also react much quicker and can divert her attention to something new immediately without the delay she had before. She's moved up from the Pentium II to the Intel I5 ;) Her playmat is still one of her favorite things to do, but now she prefers to kick her toys while grasping as many of them with her hands as she can. She likes a challenge, I guess.

I just love her to pieces. I can't kiss her and cuddle her enough... I'm never satisfied with the amount of kisses I can give her in one day.

Hopefully soon I'll figure out a way to post pictures again. Until then, trust me when I say she's super-cute. Because she is.